


I’m Taking Back The Crown

by Pineappletones



Series: Take My Hand, Take My Whole Life Too [3]
Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series), Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Angels, Blood and Violence, Demon!Eugene, Demon!Ryan, Demon!Shane, Demons, Established Relationship, F/M, Fallen Angels, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Lots of Hurt, M/M, Nightmares, Original Male Characters - Freeform, Sequel, Swearing, Violence, angel!ned, blood tw, but also fluff, everyone is friends with everyone really, half demons, hellhound!pesto, hurt!Eugene Lee Yang, hurt!ned fulmer, hurt!ryan bergara, hurt!shane madej, lots of boys kissing too tbh, this is the third installment
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-18
Updated: 2019-05-07
Packaged: 2019-07-13 22:03:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16026860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pineappletones/pseuds/Pineappletones
Summary: “Your damn mark is giving me nightmares again.”“Sorry, next time I’ll try and control the mysterious sometimes glowing spiral of doom on my chest”——————Shane and Ryan have to figure out how to deal with the angels. And quick. Because everyone they care about is fair game.Sequel to Demons I Get, People Are Crazy and Cycles Of Calm and Chaos.





	1. Stuck Inside My Head All Day (Damn You)

**Author's Note:**

> THIRD INSTALLMENT!!!!
> 
> This is a sequel! To better understand I suggest reading the first two stories first!
> 
> For those of you returning, I’m so happy you decided to keep reading! As you know I ADORE feedback so always feel free to comment!
> 
> And if you ever have a request for a one shot in this universe, please let me know!!! I’ll happily write it for you.

The sound of quick footfalls vibrate the forrest floor. He didn’t know where he was or where he was running to. But he did know who he was running from. 

 

He felt exhausted but adrenaline racing through his veins kept him upright and running.

 

It wasn’t suppose to be like _this_. It wasn’t suppose to _end_ like this.

 

His face burned from where the low hanging branches on the towering trees scraped against his skin where they made contact. Fear settled low in his stomach as anxiety clouded his mind.

 

The only sounds that echoed around him were his own heavy breathes and familiar voices, distant and staticky. He didn’t try and listen to what they were saying as he focused on dodging the trees and staying up right.

 

Everything was dark cutting his line of sight to just a couple feet in front of him. His heartbeat and his own panted breathing deafened him as all he could think of was:

 

‘ _Run. Get away. It’s coming. He’s coming_.’

 

He felt cold grasp at his back, leaving a trail of chills in its wake. He risked a glance back to see nothing but the trees he had passed fading in the distance as he continued to clumsily sprint. But he knows he’s there. Watching and chasing.

 

Hunting him.

 

He whipped his head back to watch the dark woods in front of him and barely came to a stop on time. He slid and fell on his side, narrowly avoiding an impossibly dark divide splitting the ground in front of him.

 

He quickly stood and his heart dropped as he realized it stretched too far to get around and was too wide to cross. He cursed loudly and turned his back to the canyon to face the darkness laid out where his pursuer currently hunted him from the edges of the shadows.

 

The distant voices have fallen silent. The trees stand unimaginably still. The dull air burns his lungs as he tries to catch his breath.

 

He pressed his eyes closed as intentional snapping of sticks and footfalls barrage him from every direction.

 

He opened his eyes and let out a sardonic laugh in a huff as he feels a hand carding through his hair gently, mockingly soft as the hand twists and eases the strands.

 

He turned his head to face his hunter and his attention instantly brought to the gnawingly empty space in his chest that use to harbor warmth and comfort, that use to be his greatest treasure and home.

 

Where the bond use to be.

 

“I thought you’d never be afraid of me, Big Guy.” Ryan teased him in an empty soft tone, smile pointed in places that use to be soft. Shane took a moment to study the blood that coated Ryan’s hands like a glove and shook his head sadly. Use to be. The man in front of him wasn’t his Ryan. Just a shell of what Ryan use to be.

 

Just as Ryan’s big brown eyes melted into crimson Shane felt acceptance.

 

Things aren’t how they use to be.

 

>>>>>>>

 

Shane opened his eyes with a slight jerk of his head. He immediately looked over into the bed next to him and let out the breath he had been holding. Ryan, his Ryan, was sprawled our next to him. The smaller demon was taking up an unnecessary amount of their bed considering his frame but Shane could only focus on the relief he felt.

 

He tugged on the bond experimentally and smiled a bit to himself at the occupation of it. He could feel Ryan’s emotions at his own dream, could hear his thoughts, felt his love, and most of all felt the warmth that was distinctly Ryan mingling with his own heat from the hellfire burning in his chest.

 

Shane realized he was half hanging off the bed and nudged his boyfriend softly, Ryan grumbled but turned so he was facing the taller demon. Shane laughed a bit and pulled Ryan into his arms and himself back onto the bed fully.

 

“Wake up, Boogara.” Shane said as he poked his demon’s face in a way he knew annoyed Ryan.

 

“What the fuck do you want, Beanstalk? Leave me alone.” Ryan replied as he tried to bat away Shane’s hand while keeping his eyes stubbornly closed.

 

“And go where? We _live_ together Ry.” Shane teased and Ryan sighed and opened his eyes as Shane stopped poking him and laid his hand on the smaller man’s stomach. Shane propped his head up onto his other hand and grinned at Ryan innocently.

 

“Well you’re gonna be sleeping on the couch if the rest of today is gonna be like this.” Ryan replied with a grin, him and Shane knowing full well that Ryan wouldn’t. Shane’s smile softened as he studied Ryan’s sleep ruffled hair and tired eyes. He leaned down and kissed Ryan’s forehead before moving to brush their lips together in a languid kiss. Ryan responded enthusiastically and moved his own hand to the nape of Shane’s neck. Shane shivered and pulled back a bit, the dream he just woke up from rocketing to the forefront of his mind.

 

“Your damn mark is giving me nightmares again.” Shane groaned slightly and Ryan moved his hand to Shane’s cheek before pulling him down into another quick kiss.

 

“Sorry, next time I’ll try and control the mysterious sometimes glowing spiral of doom on my chest” Ryan replied jokingly but looked slightly concerned. Shane laughed and shook his head before moving to lay with his head on Ryan’s shoulder and arm draped across the other man’s chest. Ryan moved his hand back to Shane’s hair and started playing with it again, Shane noted the differences in feeling in comparison to the dream and relaxed against his partner.

 

It had been two months since Ryan was marked by Amel, five months since Ryan became a half demon, and five and a half months since they pulled their heads out of their asses and admitted they weren’t just best friends to each other. And besides the nightmares that they occasionally get, Ryan’s from being possessed and turned and Shane’s from the mark, things have been blissfully quiet.

 

The angels have since gone silent and while it concerned them, they chose to enjoy the peace they have for right now. It’s early June, the eighteenth to be exact, and it’s a sunny Saturday morning.

 

“Let’s just stay in all day and live out our own little romcom.” Shane mumbled as he half fell back asleep on Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“We can’t do that, Madej. It’s Keith’s birthday and we aren’t missing it.” Ryan replied and Shane groaned.

 

“I mean, I love Keith and all, but pizza, popcorn, and video games sound amazing right now.” Shane replied and Ryan chuckled as he tugged gently on Shane’s hair, causing the taller demon to look up at him.

 

“We still have a few hours, Beanstalk.” Ryan kissed Shane’s nose and Shane grinned tiredly back.

 

“In that case, wanna play video games and eat pizza with me romantically, Doll?” Shane questioned and smiled broadly as his demon laughed and wheezed in a way only he could cause.

 

“Adding ‘romantically’ to a sentence does not make it a date.” Ryan chuckled but his cheeks flushed a bit against his will at Shane referring to him as ‘ _Doll_ ’.

 

“Hey, it worked the first time I asked you out.” Shane replied and Ryan rolled his eyes but Shane was distracted by how Ryan’s eyes crinkled in the corners when he smiled broadly and how his laugh lines made his cheekbones more pronounced.

 

“Are we gonna play a stupid video game or what?” Ryan asked and Shane smiled back.

 

“It’s definitely not stupid, good sir. And I’d rather see your reaction to playing it. I think you’ll really enjoy the concept and story line.” Shane replied and stood on the bed, pulling Ryan with him, sheets pooling onto the mattress around their feet.

 

“Alright, alright. But we have to leave by four.” Ryan conceded as Shane grabbed his hand and lead them off the bed and downstairs. “Isn’t it a bit early for pizza?” Ryan questioned as they descended the stairs, jumping past the last two steps and turning to face Shane.

 

“It’s noon, Ry! I know you’re not use to getting this much sleep but c’mon now!” Shane teased and Ryan huffed and crinkled his nose at the taller demon.

 

“Listen, I didn’t come here to be roasted.” Ryan replied and Shane laughed throwing his head back a bit.

 

“Come here from where? We haven’t left the apartment since after work yesterday! Ned’s probably still upset we skipped out on game night. Though, I still had fun. You’re like a fun size M&M! Bite size and delicious.” Shane winked and Ryan shoved his shoulder playfully and moved to sprawl out on their couch.

 

“I can’t tell if you’re still roasting me or not, you talking tree. Either way, stop insulting me in my own home.” Shane waltz over and laid on his partner, blanketing him. Shane rested his head on Ryan’s stomach as he laid to look at the ceiling and let his arms fall, one hand covering Ryan’s face. “Stop that! I’m not a pillow and get your gigantic hand off my face.”

 

“I lived here first, in case you forgot. And you’re taking up the couch and it’s my right, no my duty, as your boyfriend to use you as a pillow. As for the insults I tend to ‘ _drag bitches on the concrete_ ’ as the children say.” Shane declared as he randomly grabbed at Ryan’s face while his boyfriend made annoyed noises.

 

“What the fuck ever Shane. You’re not that old. Well... your meat suit as Keith says isn’t that old. You’re fucking ancient though. I don’t think this will work out, the age difference alone is a nightmare.” Ryan teased and Shane turned to give a mock glare making the other laugh.

 

“You’re leaving me for Eugene aren’t you? I fucking knew it.” Shane joked but couldn’t keep a straight face as Ryan sat up and pecked Shane on the lips.

 

“If I didn’t leave you after you bought a fucking huge Mission Impossible cut out, then I’m straight up not leaving you, dude.” Ryan kissed Shane’s nose and laid back down as the taller demon scoffed.

 

“It was a work of art, Ry! And you made me return it after a week long argument.” Shane pouted and Ryan laughed before shaking his head.

 

“I would have let you keep it if it didn’t take up the entirety of the kitchen.” Ryan really didn’t want to get into this argument again so he pushed Shane up a bit so he could get up and grab the console controller.

 

“We order in most days anyways! Hell, we have pizza on the way right now.” Shane grumbled our the last part but stood with Ryan to get the game ready. Ryan sighed, shook his head, and smiled softly.

 

“I love you” Ryan muttered and Shane turned his head and grinned.

 

“Love you too, Babycakes. Why is it I have so many cute nicknames for you and you just call me ‘ _dude_ ’?” Shane half grumbled as he loaded the game and handed the controller off to Ryan as the both plopped back down on the couch, Shane’s arm hanging on the back behind Ryan, thighs brushing together.

 

“Would you rather I call you ‘hun’ like an old married couple?” Ryan laughed as the title screen displayed ‘Detroit: Become Human.’

 

“Ariel and Ned call each other hun.” Shane points out and Ryan throws him a look. “I’m telling them you called them old.”

 

They play for a little over four hours, pizza arriving within the first hour and Ryan decided it doesn’t make a bad first meal of the day. Shane was right, he did love the storyline and the basis of your decisions have consequences. Who wouldn’t love a game about AI androids and bringing into question what humanity truly means. The smaller demon couldn’t help but admit he was enthralled. That doesn’t mean he and Shane didn’t goof off quiet a bit in the game, sometimes making it glitch hilariously.

 

“Connor is definitely my favorite.” Ryan states to Shane who had moved to lay his head in Ryan’s lap and watch him play.

 

“Cause he’s a badass like your boyfriend?” Shane prods and Ryan laughs.

 

“Sure. Let’s go with that.”

 

“Ry, just so you know, it’s four thirty.” Shane nonchalantly points out and is startled into almost falling off the couch as Ryan pauses the game and stands quickly.

 

“Why didn’t you tell me, Shane?! We’re gonna be late!” Ryan dragged Shane upstairs so they could quickly change and leave.

 

“You looked like you were having fun! We have half an hour to get to Keith and Becky’s place.” Shane replied as they both quickly got dressed, dancing around each other across the room in a well practiced routine.

 

They left the house in a hurry and chatted in the car as Ryan drove, Shane teasing Ryan about his driving and Ryan asking Shane if he’d prefer to drive, already knowing the answer.

 

They made it to Keith’s twenty minutes later and heard that the rest of the group had started the party early. They let themselves in and made their way to the back to find their friends with an already half empty bottle of gin.

 

“Look who decided to show up!” Ned said loudly as the others turned to greet them.

 

“Hey, the party wasn’t suppose to start for another ten minutes, Fly Boy.” Shane teased back as Eugene clumsily strode over and wrapped his arms around them. “I take it that isn’t the first bottle you boys have gone through?”

 

“I’ve only had five.” Eugene replied and leaned his head on Shane’s shoulder.

 

“Shots?” Ryan asked hopefully but knew the answer.

 

“Bottles, silly.” Eugene replied and kissed Ryan’s cheek before leaving to walk over to Anael who looked as casual as he’s ever been, wearing a white T-shirt and blue jeans. Eugene stumbled a bit and the angel steadied him with a laugh as Eugene giggled.

 

“Guess we have a lot of catching up to do, Ry!” Shane patted his shoulder and Ned tossed him a bottle from ten feet away that the demon caught with ease.

 

“Are we just leaving my car here and taking an Uber home then?” Ryan asked as Shane took a swig and passed the bottle to Ryan.

 

“Sounds good to me! That okay birthday boy?” Shane asked Keith who jumped over to them with Becky following with a wide smile.

 

“Oh hell yeah. No one is staying sober at this party, mmmkay?” The boys chuckled and Becky came and ruffled Ryan’s hair with a grin.

 

“It’s definitely not sex hair but you also don’t look as put together as normal, Bergara.” Becky observed and Ryan shook his head.

 

“Shane didn’t tell me when it was time to leave.” Ryan replied pointedly and Shane put his hands up in surrender with a bottle still in his hand.

 

“Hey, I didn’t want to ruin your fun!” Shane retorted and Keith flung an arm around the demon and grinned.

 

“Awww look at you two, already bickering like an old married couple. I mean, I guess you always have though.” Keith teased, clearly tipsy but not as gone as Eugene.

 

“Hey, don’t make fun of he elderly, Keith. Shane is self conscious about how old he is.” Ryan added on with a smirk at his boyfriend.

 

“Ha ha. You two are the epitome of comedy.” Shane retorted and Becky laughed as Keith pinched Shane’s cheek.

 

“Welp. I’m stealing your husband, Bergara.” Keith stated as he pulled Shane in closer and kissed his temple.

 

“Wow I didn’t think anyone on Earth could reach that high.” Ryan commented with a smile as Becky rested her arm against his shoulder and hit his arm playfully.

 

“Be nice. We have to preserve our trees.” Becky added with a sweet smile to Keith as he rolled his eyes at her.

 

“Also he’s not my husband. And why are you taking him?” Ryan asked and Keith just wrapped both his arms around Shane who smiled and rested his head against Keith’s, smiling like they were posing for pictures.

 

“It’s my birthday! Let me have this!” Keith responded loudly causing Ryan and Becky to laugh.

 

“Okay, okay, as long as he leaves the party with me.” Ryan faked exasperation and Keith dragged Shane to another part of the party.

 

“Eugene, get down from the fucking tree. You’re gonna fall!” Ryan turned as he heard Zach yelling to see Eugene straddling a tree branch a dozen feet up with a bottle of vodka in hand.

 

“I’m a motherfuckin demoooonnnn!!!” Eugene yelled as he held both arms out like a college frat boy who just won beer pong.

 

“Fuck this. Anael, please go get him.” Zach turned to the angel who was watching from next to Zach. The angel shrugged and grinned down at him with amusement dancing in his blue eyes.

 

“He has wings, he’ll be fine.” Anael responded and Zach groaned. “Looks like I won the bet though, Kornfeld. We got crazy Eugene and he climbed a tree within thirty minutes. Pay up.” Anael held out a hand to the human and Zach cursed as he fished twenty dollars out of his pocket and slapped it into the angel’s outstretched hand.

 

“I told you guys, no one is equipped to handle any of the thirteen drunk Eugene’s!” Ned yelled with a grin as he watched Eugene climb higher into the tree while singing to himself in Latin. Ned had an arm around Ariel’s waist as she too watched with amusement and a fond shake of her head.

 

“Is he speaking in tongues? Are you speaking in tongues?” Zach asked Anael and then Eugene like a disappointed parent and Eugene just laughed in response before taking another drink.

 

“It’s Latin, Zachikins.” Eugene replied in a sing song way with a wide grin. “I think you need to be more drunk.”

 

Keith dragged Shane with him to watch the spectacle, both grinning up at Eugene. Ryan and Becky watched from where they stood and laughed at all of their boys.

 

“At least he isn’t running away from me on my birthday.” Keith shrugged with a smile and Shane laughed.

 

“Yeah, it would be pretty rude of him to do that _two_ years in a row.” Zach added and the boys laughed as Eugene threw a twig down at the smaller man.

 

Ryan was very happy with his choice of friends.


	2. Can You Save My Heavy Dirty Soul?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith’s drunken birthday party continues! But Ryan needs to comfort a very drunk and depressed Eugene and learns more about his friend and his fall from grace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY ABOUT THE LONG WAIT. 
> 
> I just really wanted to get this one right. 
> 
> More angst, as always. 
> 
> And emotionally vulnerable Eugene?
> 
> Your comments make my day, so please tell me what you think!!’

Ryan watched as the party bustled on. The group migrated away from the tree and Ryan couldn’t help but laugh at the drinking contest that had Ned and Shane edging each other on while Ariel cheers for Ned and Keith cheers back and forth for both of them. Becky moved to wrap her arms around Keith’s midsection, height difference very apparent in the loving gesture. Zach was lounging on one of the lawn chairs, nursing his fifth beer and looking as though he was on the verge of falling asleep against where his head was propped up on his hand. Anael was sitting next to Zach, trying to toss trail mix into the humans slightly ajar mouth as Zach fell in and out of consciousness.

 

Ryan shook his head with a fond smile while glancing around looking for Eugene. He himself was two thirds of the way through a bottle of vodka and was feeling a pleasant buzz. He should have known Eugene would still be in the tree, now near the top of the whole eighteen to twenty foot tree that had been intentionally put there by the previous residents of the house.

 

Eugene was sprawled along the branch, half hugging it, half trying to keep the empty bottle in his hand from plummeting to the Earth below. Ryan made his way over and looked up to his friend with a wide smile.

 

“How’s the view?” Ryan asked and Eugene looked down to him with a lazy grin.

 

“Greeeaattt. It’s hard to believe this is how Shane and Keith see the world everyday.”Eugene’s words slur together before he laughs to himself.

 

“Gotta walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, right?” Ryan laughed back.

 

“Ry! Come up here! I’m lonely and Anael won’t bring me another drink.” Eugene sat up so he was straddling the branch and motion Ryan to climb up with jerky movements.

 

“That’s probably for the best.” Ryan replied and ignored Eugene’s displeased groan. The smaller demon sighed and shook his head before starting his ascent up the tree, questioning to himself what happened in his life to bring him to this moment.

 

As he made it up with ease to where Eugene sat he was dragged into a hug by the other demon and almost fell backwards. He probably would have if Eugene wasn’t clinging to him with both arms in a vice grip around his shoulders. Ryan’s clouded brain registered that Eugene now had both legs swung over one side with his torso twisted towards Ryan and his cheek against Ryan’s shoulder.

 

“You’re the fucking best, Ry. I don’t tell you that enough.” Eugene mumbled. Ryan laughed in response and shook his head a bit.

 

“I’m gonna hold this over sober you for so long.” Ryan replied with a grin as Eugene just hummed and sat up a bit, untangling himself from around Ryan.

 

“I hate my wings.” Eugene said suddenly serious. Ryan turned to look at the other demon with slight concern.

 

“I don’t quite understand why. They’re pretty bad ass.” Ryan was still feeling the alcohol and didn’t really know what to say so he just said the first thing that came to mind.

 

“It’s not the wings them self, it’s just a bad reminder, ya know? Of when I fell.” Eugene wasn’t slurring as much and was staring blankly at the party below. Ryan followed his gaze to see Shane whooping and high-fiving Keith and Ned holding himself up against the table with Ariel’s comforting arm around him.

 

“Oh.” Ryan replied simply, curious but not wanting to push his friend into divulging more about whatever happened.

 

“I fucked up.” Eugene stated with a shrug, still staring off into nothing. Ryan just listened like he always did when Eugene got drunk and shifted into his depressed drunk phase.

 

“I was a part of a... bracket of angels that still believed in humanity when all that shit went down in Heaven. Did I ever tell ya that?” Eugene questioned and Ryan tilted his head and mulled over his reply, not trusting himself not to say something idiotic while tipsy.

 

“You don’t really like to talk about your past, usually.” Eugene chuckled dryly in response and his gaze shifted downward. The other demon bit his lip slightly and shook his head.

 

“I suppose you’re right. Well, my bracket of angels wanted to help humanity prosper. So we found humans that were ‘ _destined_ ’ for good. And we protected them.” Eugene continued after a long moment where Ryan thought he had said the wrong thing and accidentally shut the other demon down. “I was assigned to this kid. Her name was Lilias. This was a really long time ago. Well, by human standards. Back when humanity was on its first legs. They had civilizations but they were already starting to tear themselves down.”

 

“Angels were feuding all the way back then? The few times you, Ned, and Anael talked about it, it seemed like a pretty recent development.” Ryan questioned as he braced his palms against the bark on either side of him, rough texture digging into his palms but he was too intent on Eugene to notice.

 

“It’s recent for us. We’ve been around for a long time, Ry. The length of time humans have been around equates to about a year or two for us.” Eugene shrugged while he cast his gaze to where Anael sat talking to a much more awake Zach. “Anyways, I was suppose to protect her. Come to Earth when she was in trouble, keep her kicking, that sort of stuff.”

 

Ryan nodded and he felt himself sobering up, attention fully on his friend and making sure Eugene got through whatever he needed to get off his chest.

 

“But as time went on, I got more fascinated by humans. How they seemed to thrive in the worst of times when we were lead to believe they were these meek creatures that wouldn’t last long. I spent more and more time on Earth.” Eugene started fiddling with his hands as he continued, his breathing quickening slightly and eyes flicking to different parts of the scenery around them, as though he were watching the memories themselves unfold in front of him.

 

Ryan scooted closer so their arms were brushing and he felt warmth bleed through his jacket sleeve. Eugene glanced to him and smiled a bit before taking a steadying breath.

 

“My branch of angels was attacked by the angels that control Heaven now while I was on Earth. I wasn’t needed here, but wanted to be here. I _should_ have been in Heaven,” Eugene let out a sardonic laugh and Ryan was struck on how in this moment all the sadness and grief made Eugene look like an entirely different person than the cocky yet caring demeanor his friend usually carried, “but I wasn’t.” Eugene continued and Ryan felt his stomach drop a bit, just three words so full of emotion that he felt his own heart sting.

 

Eugene let out a huff of air as he sorted through his next thought. “They were all wiped out. Not one of my old garrison survived.” Eugene had a slight waver to his tone and Ryan’s heart sank along with his stomach. He put a comforting hand on Eugene’s shoulder and couldn’t help but feel the remorse radiating from the other man. It felt like it was choking him while the rest of his body felt numb.

 

“I should have been there. To help. We may not have won still, but at least I would have been doing something. Greater good and all that bullshit.” Eugene rubbed a hand down his face before shaking his head to himself. Ryan could see how tense his shoulders were, the glazed look as he stared at the side of Keith’s house, his nails digging into his palms in a tight fist.

 

“I should have been... _better_. Less selfish. Maybe I could have helped a few escape. Maybe we all would have died. But at least I would have contributed something! Instead I was here, ignoring my duties being a selfish asshole while friends I’ve had for close to a millennia were torn to pieces. When I finally did go back I saw the aftermath and I don’t think I’ll ever forgot any of it. They were my friends, Ry. And they were skewered, torn into pieces, and died slow deaths while I was obliviously wandering around down here.”Eugene’s voice had grown in volume and wavered heavily towards the end before he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to push out the image of gore that had been seared into his brain.“Why do I, out of all of them, deserve to live? What part of God’s fucked up plan...” Eugene trailed off and took a deep breath and shook his head as he looked like he was physically choking on the feelings that were being dredged up. “They were good, Ry. So much better than me. They could have done more than me. Yet, _I’m_ the one who lived.”

 

“ _They were my friends, Ry_... the only family I’ve ever had...” Eugene’s voice cracked on the word family and Ryan never would have thought he’d see Eugene cry. Not so heartbrokenly. There were times when the demon was drunk he’d get emotional over things he normally wouldn’t bat an eye at. But this? This was Eugene finally facing everything he lost. Feeling all the pain he had buried deep down to forget about. Remembering every moment as if he were standing there again now. And what jarred Ryan is that he has no doubt that this would affect his friend just as much if he were sober. That Eugene had been carrying this around as his burden while they all had no idea.

 

“Eugene, even if you were there, what’s the use in you dying too? The angels that did that, they’re still trying to wipe out humans. If you had been there, we would just have less of a chance of winning now. Shane would be in hell, I wouldn’t know about any of this, Ned wouldn’t have been sent to Earth and wouldn’t have rebelled, so that would just leave Anael. Sure, it’s us against Heaven now, but there’s a lot more of us than if you had died too.” Ryan tried his best to reassure his friend but by the mixture of regret, loss, and bleakness twisting in his chest from Eugene dispirited him a bit.

 

“The kicker is Lilias didn’t survive to do whatever it was she was ‘ _destined_ ’ to do. And she wasn’t killed by anything demonic or angelic out of my control. No, she died from disease. Something I could have prevented. Something I could have protected her from. That’s part of the reason I don’t like being around kids. She was ten. _Fucking ten_. I was only able to keep her alive for a decade. So what if I just let them down like I let her down?”Eugene was suddenly angry, at the world, at Heaven, but mostly at himself. Ryan took a breath before pulling Eugene into his arms, sending any reassurance he could. The other demon pliantly leaned against him before putting his hand on Ryan’s arm that was stretched across his chest.

 

“I let down Lilias just like I let down the rest of my garrison... I fucked up.”

 

“You can’t carry this with you forever, Eugene. You deserve to be happy and everyone here is happy you’re around.” Ryan made his voice as steady as possible as the emotions from Eugene slowly died down into something as close to acceptance as it was gonna get today. Still burning in his chest but receding enough for Eugene to school his features and rub away the tear tracks on his face with much steadier motions than just fifteen minutes ago. They sat quietly for ten minutes before Eugene straightened up and stretched before leaning against Ryan, the worst of the emotions leaving his system.

 

“Thanks, Ry. I’m just drunk and you’re the only person I’ve told the whole thing to besides Shane.” Eugene sighed as Ryan let him go and they sat in silence for a moment. Ryan trying to process everything he just learned and Eugene trying to forget.

 

“Y’know, this did more for me than a century of human therapy would.” Eugene said after a moment with a chuckle and Ryan let out a surprised laugh in response.

 

“I’m not sure any human therapist is capable of handling something like that, even if they had eons.” Ryan responded and Eugene laughed again.

 

“Yeah, I think all of us here are thoroughly fucked up. Besides the humans, of course.” Eugene added as the air felt calmer and the noise of the party started trickling through again.

 

“Well, aren’t we trying to keep our humans from being just as fucked up?” Ryan asked with a small smile. Eugene nodded and his gaze shifted to where Zach was chasing Anael and Keith with a water gun and spraying the other two men with a wide smile.

 

“God, I’m a selfish ass. It’s one of my best friend’s birthday and I’m moping in a tree.” Eugene sounded closer to his normal self save for his nose being a bit stuffy and the tired look he still had in his eyes.

 

“You needed to talk about it and that’s okay. The seven bottles of alcohol probably didn’t help. But Keith seems to still be having fun.” Ryan rambled but Eugene must have found it endearing because he just smiled a little and shrugged one of his shoulders.

 

‘ _He doing okay?_ ’ Ryan suddenly heard Shane’s voice in his head and glanced over to see his partner throwing concerned glances up at them and Ned standing next to him looking stricken. Eugene followed his gaze and Ned finally looked up to give his friend a half hearted smile.

 

‘ _As okay as can be I suppose._ ’ Ryan replied and Shane nodded before taking another sip of the mixed drink he had made himself.

 

“I forgot Ned could hear us. I guess it’s better that he knows. As long as he doesn’t go all ‘Daddy Angel’ like he does for you.” Eugene said joked and Ned smiled and shook his head before flipping Eugene off, causing the other demon to laugh.

 

“The phrase ‘Daddy Angel’ just made me really uncomfortable” Ryan laughed and Eugene smiled a bit wider.

 

“I need another drink. I’m passed my depressed drunk phase and just want to get fucked up” Eugene stated and Ryan just nodded a bit before nudging the other man with his shoulder.

 

“The party’s still young.” Ryan said while watching Shane lumber over to the base of the tree. Even from twenty feet up, he knew Shane had a mischievous glint in his eye.

 

”Ryan and Eugene sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G” Shane sang up to them with a slight smirk before putting his hands in his pockets and rocked leisurely back and forth from his heels to his toes. Ryan knew his demon must still be drunk from the contest with Ned

 

“You’re a literal twelve year old, Madej. And you’d probably enjoy that, wouldn’t you?” Eugene yelled back and Shane just grinned up at them in response.

 

“We should probably head down, there’s still shit tons of alcohol and I wanna see how drunk we can get Anael.” Ryan stated with a slight smirk and Eugene chuckled.

 

“Corrupting an angel? Nah, Ry, we would never.” Eugene replied with a wicked smirk.

 

They started climbing down the tree and Ryan must have been more tipsy than he thought still because he almost slid right off the branch they were sitting on. He would have definitely fallen if Eugene hadn’t caught him by the wrist and helped him grab onto the trunk of the tree.

 

When they reached the ground he was greeted by the laughter of his demon and Ned snickering at him.

 

”You are the most ungraceful demon I’ve ever seen.” Ned commented as Shane pulled him into a hug, always clingy when drunk.

 

“Fuck you, where’s the whiskey?” Ryan replied and Eugene agreed excitedly.

 

They made their way to the table with rows and rows of liquor lined on top with splashes of spilt drinks on the surface. Ryan and Eugene quickly finished two bottles and kept feeding Anael as much as they could and laughed at the different faces the angel would make at the tastes. Soon the angel was hanging off of Ryan and laughing at everything and anything, his words were slurred and his blond hair was ruffled, adding to the disheveled look Anael quickly took on. The angel moved to lean on Eugene for support instead and made dumb jokes that would have put his smooth talking work persona, Liam, into a state of recoil.

 

Ryan looked around the party and saw Keith dragging a stumbling Shane to talk to Zach who was giggling by Ariel and Ned. Shane must have decided he was tired of walking and jumped on Keith’s back which caused the other man to jerk forward in surprise.

 

“Shane! It’s my birthday, I should be the one getting the piggy back ride!” Keith whines as the demon on his back laughed in response. Ned ran over to them and jumped on Shane’s back causing Keith to fall to the ground under them. “Why are you two hurting me?!”

 

“Our trees have fallen. Looks like they took a bird with them.” Ryan stated in false sincerity to Becky who had joined them shortly before. She laughed and Anael choked on his drink and went into a coughing fit as Eugene tried to keep him standing.

 

Soon after Zach came over and laid on top of the pile of tangled limbs on the ground and started singing a loud rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ to Keith.

 

When they finally get up Keith states it’s his turn because it’s HIS party and jumps on Shane’s back who doesn’t even seem affected by the added weight.

 

“This is a breeze! I betcha I could climb that tree faster than Pretty Boy over there with you on my back.” Shane states.

 

“Don’t you dare, Madej.” Ryan and Becky said in unison as Shane dramatically rolled his eyes and pouted.

 

“The spouses say no.” Keith giggled and got down before hugging Zach and pushing him so that the smaller man was walking backwards. They were joking around and Zach stumbled and almost brought both of them to the ground again.

 

The party continued for another astonishing five hours as they laughed, told stories, and played bored games in which Ned flipped the board on two different occasions. After a very loud and angry match of Uno everyone decided it was time to call it a day.

 

On the Uber ride home Ryan was content being tangled up with Shane in the back seat, legs strewn about and arms wrapped tightly around his demon as his head rested on the taller man’s shoulder. He and Shane joked lazily and no doubt annoyed their driver out of their wits but Ryan couldn’t stop the giddy feeling in his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was a doozy.


	3. You Were Flowing Through My Veins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Offhand comments can have explosive outcomes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR HOW LONG THIS TOOK :(
> 
> I’m trash, I know. 
> 
> But I’d still really like to know what you think about this chapter, so please leave a comment telling me your thoughts

Monday morning quickly rolls around and Shane would love nothing more to say fuck it and not go into the office but, frankly, they’ve missed too many days as is this year do to demonic bullshit and recuperating from aforementioned demonic bullshit. So when the alarm goes off and his partner doesn’t budge next to him, he doesn’t know if he has it in him to move.

 

“Ryyyyy...” Shane grumbled as he turned onto his side and wrapped his arms around his little demon so they were spooning.

 

“No. Please, no.” Ryan groaned and slapped at the alarm clock before knocking it onto the floor with a loud clatter, bringing both their glasses and a cup of water down with it.

 

“We have to go to work. I know you compensate by catching up on your work here and not sleeping, but I’d like to have an actual date sometime soon.” Shane mumbled sleepily with the lower half of his face pressed gently against the other man’s shoulder blade. Ryan let out a chuckle and scooted back closer to Shane.

 

“I’d love to know your definition of an ‘ _actual date’_. Okay, on the condition that you shower with me.” Ryan replied a little more awake and Shane didn’t have to see his face to know that he was grinning.

 

“Fuckin’ gladly! Though, if one of us falls out again, that’s on you.”

 

“Hey now, your limbs were fucking everywhere and you got soap in my eyes!” Ryan argued while turning to face the taller man. Shane took a moment to memorize his partner’s sleep ruffled hair before kissing Ryan’s forehead.

 

“You’re adorable right now and you know you love my limbs.”

 

“Lets just get ready for work, Beanstalk.” Ryan shook his head with a wider smile than before. Ryan kissed Shane languidly before grabbing his hand and dragging him out of their bed.

 

The shower thankfully went without incident and they got dressed while chatting, having to pause for a minute or two when Shane made a twisted Hannibal Lector joke and Ryan had to stop and sit on the bed with one shoe on as he laughed and wheezed.

 

“You’re fucking horrible.” Ryan got out when he finally caught his breath and started pushing Shane out the bedroom door and down the stairs.

 

“Hey, you laughed at it!” Shane replied. Ryan ignored him and when Shane reached the bottom he jumped on the taller man’s back with his legs wrapped around Shane’s waist and arms around his shoulders, hands clasped together on his partner’s sternum. Shane didn’t move in reaction except to put a big hand over both of Ryan’s and his other hand in the bend of one of Ryan’s legs. “You’re like a little koala bear in a tree.” Shane chuckled as he brought both of them out to Ryan’s car.

 

“I don’t wanna walk. It’s too early and we don’t have time to make coffee.” Ryan whined while resting his chin on his boyfriends shoulder with a pout gracing his lips.

 

“Oh, so you’re just using me?” Shane teased and Ryan kissed the shell of his ear before kissing his cheek.

 

“I love you!” Ryan replied overly sweet, clearly going for the overly cute angle to get his way.

 

“Yeah yeah, I love you too. Even though you’re most likely gonna be the death of me one day.” Shane rolled his eyes but smiled at Ryan’s laugh the reverberated against his back and the hands under his opening to wrap around his own.

 

Ryan hopped down when they reached the car and went to the drivers side. When Shane climbed he was greeted with a sweet smile and a soft kiss.

 

“You’re awfully affectionate this morning. Where’s my Ryan? My boy who is catatonic until he has coffee.” Shane joked and Ryan just grinned and kissed him again.

 

“Shut up, Shane. I just feel good! Is that a crime?” Ryan asked cheerily as he started the car and began their commute.

 

“I feel as though being cheery wouldn’t be your crime of choice, if it were. I think we both know you’d be a serial killer.” Shane mused and Ryan laughed.

 

“And Unsolved is just me covering it up?” Ryan asked with a grin, sparing a moment to glance over at Shane.

 

“Exactly! Like ‘ _oh me? I couldn’t be the murder! I talk about murders for a living and get scared at a light breeze!_ ’ Throw ‘em off your tail real good. Show ‘em that fake human scaredy cat side. They’ll never be the wiser.” Shane continued and Ryan just shook his head.

 

“The shitty wind joke, again.” Ryan grumbled half heartedly as he listened to Shane continue.

 

“It could work. Just teleport in and outta there. But of course I would know too much and I’d be a risk being the saint that I am. ‘ _Oh, Shane Madej was a victim? What a tragedy! Comedy and entertainment will never be the same. I’m a suspect? No I could never! I only threaten him as a joke’_ ” Shane continued with his voice getting more cartoonish with over exaggerated hand motions.

 

“Is that suppose to be me? Also, you being a saint is the most bullshit thing I’ve ever heard.” Ryan replied with a grin at Shane’s antics, still feeling good as they pulled up to the office.

 

They continued to joke around as they entered the building and made their way up to where their desks awaited them. Shane continuously bringing up points as to why he’d be the perfect serial killer with his demonic advantages.

 

“I’m just saying Ry, it’s a fallback!” Shane exclaimed as they walked to their desks with their coworkers still milling about.

 

“It’s a fucking stupid fallback.” Ryan replied with a grin at the taller man. Shane clasped his hands over his heart and staggered towards Ryan as the shorter man tried to get away. “You fall on me, Madej, and I swear to god.”

 

Quinta came over and raised an eyebrow at their antics and grinned. “When are you two lunatics gonna get married already?” She asked and laughed at their confused expressions as Shane leaned heavily on Ryan.

 

“What? We’ve only been dating for a few months.” Ryan laughed and Shane started making kissy faces at him as Ryan held him back with a hand.

 

“True, but you two have acted like a married couple for years.” Eugene chimed in as he sauntered over, dressed to the nines as always.

 

“What do ya say, Ryan? Wanna run off to Vegas?” Shane teased and Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

“I would, but we already decided that I’m leaving you for Eugene, remember?” Ryan snarked with a grin and Shane grinned.

 

“Oh yeah! That’s right. Eugene, you free to take my boyfriend on a date this Friday?” Shane turned to the other demon who rolled his eyes and shared a look with Quinta.

 

“You two are ridiculous. Cute, but ridiculous.” Quinta stated with a small smile before wrapping her arm around Eugene’s and they strode off chatting.

 

Ryan slumped into his chair and grabbed Shane’s hand from where the other man still stood next to him. Shane looked down to see a sweet smile and Ryan’s big eyes peaking up at him from under the bill of his baseball cap. “What do you want, Ry?” Shane asked though the question came out softer than he thought it would.

 

“Could you get me coffee, babe? I don’t wanna get up.” Ryan asked with a bat of his eyes and Shane was a goner.

 

“Fine. But only because you’re too goddamn cute and I hate it.” Shane replied with obviously fake annoyance and Ryan laughed. “I’m grabbing you a muffin too and you’re eating it.” Shane added as he wandered towards the kitchen area, knowing full well that Ryan was bad at remembering to eat when he was engrossed in his work.

 

The rest of the day was uneventful for Shane. He fleshed out the newest script for Ruining History and managed to get a lot done.

 

Ryan however, wasn’t fairing as well as he thought he was this morning. The mark was burning at his ribs, making him clench his teeth until bright patterns started dancing across his vision, signaling the start of a really bad migraine. His skin felt incredibly tight and it made him want to scratch it off. The few times he actually gave into the urge to scratch at it until it was raw, Shane would stop him with a hand reached over and blanketed over his. Shane would also rub at his own chest where the mark rested on Ryan’s, the spiraling design no doubt sending diluted feelings of irritation through the bond.

 

Shane didn’t seem so much phased by it, Ryan knew it was because they’ve gone through months of this pattern. But it caused irrational irritation for Ryan that Shane wasn’t as affected by this as he was. The logical side of him knew that he was glad Shane didn’t have to go through this first hand but he envied that Shane could ignore it.

 

Eventually Ryan’s irritation got to the point where he’d pull his hand out from under Shane’s and try his best to focus on working. In the afternoon Ned came by and chatted with him, no doubt noticing Ryan’s discomfort. Ned pulled over another chair to watch some of the footage Ryan was editing now, intentionally bringing it closer so Ryan could feel a little relief from the fire boiling him from the inside out. Ryan had grown to appreciate the cold air that surrounded the angel and felt himself calm down a bit just from feeling like he could breathe again, that the air wasn’t too hot.

 

The end of the day finally rolled around and Shane wrapped an arm around his shoulder as they made their way out. Ryan felt a little more at ease and was glad Shane didn’t take his irritation personally. Kelsey sided up by them as they made their way out, chatting with them as they exited into the light breeze that Ryan cherished quietly for a moment. Ryan didn’t quite catch where the conversation had lead to but when he started listening again they were talking about friend groups.

 

“... I’d have to say Ryan is the center of all the drama in ours.” Shane says passively and Ryan feels the fire burning in his chest spark up like someone just threw gasoline on it. He knew Shane wasn’t wrong, but the irrational anger he’d been holding in all day was making a powerful comeback. Shane must have noticed because he and Kelsey said their goodbyes and Ryan waved at her before they reached his car.

 

The car ride home was quiet and Ryan saw Shane glancing at him from time to time. As they entered the apartment Shane rubbed his hands down his face and turned to Ryan.

 

“What did I say?” Shane put simply with an even tone and that somehow managed to grate on Ryan’s nerves even more.

 

“I’m the center of all the ‘ _drama_ ’?” Ryan questioned in a low tone, crossing his arms because it felt like the flame in his chest was going to burst through his sternum.

 

“Jesus Christ, Ry. It was a stupid off hand comment. And it’s not really wrong.” Shane replied as he leaned against the back of the couch. Ryan barely registered the static in his chest that was the bond dulling a bit.

 

“I’m not angry that I’m at the center of it, because I am usually, but I’m angry about it being brushed off as drama! Like some teenager not going to the prom with their first choice!” Ryan responded loudly, motioning wide with his arms.

 

“It’s not that insignificant, Ryan! We know it, the rest of the group knows it, but the humans we work with don’t! I don’t understand why you’re so bent outta shape about this.” Shane replied while standing pinching the bridge of his nose.

 

The static grew a little more light.

 

“Because, Shane, I have a fucking mysterious brand on my chest that no one knows what it does, no one knows how to get rid of it, and it seems to want to burn me from the inside out and make me this fucking angry person that I’m not!” Ryan yelled and took a step towards Shane, the bond and any emotions flowing through it fading into the background against his frustration.

 

“I’m sorry, Ry. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to protect you, what more do you want me to do now?! Since I can’t go back and change it, I can’t undo the stupid mistakes I made.” Shane’s tone getting consistently more annoyed as he matched Ryan’s volume.

 

“I don’t know, Shane! All I know is you get to sit there and act like it isn’t happening when I wish to god that I could! I hate what it’s doing to me, I hate what’s coming with being turned into a demon in the first place!” Ryan was speaking without thinking at this point and he felt dehydrated, overwhelmed, and too hot all at the same time. But the fire burning in him kept him yelling.

 

“You think I don’t want to help every time this happens?! You think I don’t give a shit?! Because I do, Ryan, I love you and I hate that this is happening to you. But for the first time in decades I don’t know what the fuck to do! I don’t have any ideas on how to fix it and I don’t even know if I can!” Shane’s words were rushed as he also took a step forward so they were just a couple feet away.

 

“Neither do I! And it’s fucking terrifying.” Ryan heaved a deep breath and tugged at his own hair before the flame encouraged him to continue. “You always just say things to make people laugh, you take everything lightly and you just don’t care!” Shane chuckled mirthlessly and wiped a hand down his face.

 

“Go on, Bergara, tell me more about what I do that annoys you! Because I have a few myself! Like how you’re the opposite! Sometimes you take things too seriously! You never use terms of endearment, you hate being treated like a child only then to act like one to get what you want, you read too much into things, whether it be ghosts when you were human or offhand comments!” Shane shouted back, genuine anger looking so uncharacteristically wrong on his face.

 

“You do impulsive things that drive me up the wall, I’m still angry about you ruining my chances of proving ghosts are real when I was human, and then making fun of me and ridiculing me when you knew full well... not to mention that after I was turned, after I was tortured and tormented for months, you wanted to just brush it off and pretend everything was normal when it’s very much not! If I had known months ago this is where everything lead to...” Ryan’s brain caught up with him and his sentence trailed off as his shoulders sagged and he looked at Shane’s confused expression. Shane looked down and didn’t meet his eyes. He suddenly felt cold and he knew immediately he would take back everything he said if he could.

 

“I know I asked you before,” Shane started in a quieter voice, trying to keep his tone flat, “do you wish I was able to keep me being a demon a secret? That _none_ of this happened?” Ryan felt his chest tighten and internally tried grasping onto the weak thrum of the bond.

 

“I don’t know, I feel like I don’t know anything anymore. I’m sorry, Shane.” Ryan replied before backing his way to the stairs and heading to their room.

 

Shane blinked a few times and sighed as he heard the shower turn on upstairs. He wiped a hand over his mouth and rested there in a thought for a minute before moving to the kitchen. He started digging through the cabinets for something to occupy his mind. He was digging through the back and pulled out a container and immediately spilt it on his hand.

 

Shane cursed loudly as his hand started burning and looked down to see the salt he had kept on hand for Ryan during their movie nights. It was spilled across the counter and his hand was a blotchy and red as he shook it to get any salt off. Shane sighed and moved away from from the salt, leaning forward on his hands on the counter with his head hanging as he processed everything that just happened.

 

Soon after he heard Ryan coming down the stairs and the footsteps stop tentatively at the bottom.

 

“Shane?” He heard Ryan’s quiet voice call out, fear the underlying tone as though he thought Shane had left.

 

“In the kitchen.” Shane replied, not moving from the position he was in. He heard Ryan approach and lean against the counter not too far away from him. They sat in silence for a few minutes and Shane just listened to Ryan’s shaky breathing next to him. “Sorry, Ry. It was a stupid comment and I didn’t think about why you reacted the way you did, I just went straight on the defensive and didn’t think about what I was saying. I said some really stupid shit and I really am sorry, hun. I do care, I care a lot. About you.” Shane heard Ryan shuffle beside him and Shane looked up to see the smaller man studying the wooden floor with his arms loosely around his midsection. His hair was still wet and he wasn’t wearing a shirt, just sweat pants.

 

“I’m sorry too, Shane. I’m not gonna make any excuses with the mark or some other shit, because I said stuff that just wasn’t true. I’ve managed the mark this long and me blowing up on you like that was completely unwarranted. I don’t regret anything that’s happened between us, babe, not a bit. It’s been rough but I’ve only made it through because you’ve been with me this entire time. Everything I said annoyed me about you, doesn’t. I’ve known all that about you since before we started dating and I fell for you because of it.” Ryan looked up and Shane sighed and pulled the other man against his chest, arms wrapped around his shoulders as Ryan’s arms wrapped slowly around him too.

 

Ryan gently pressed his nose against Shane’s chest and Shane was grateful for the return of the comforting static hum filling his chest again.

 

“You know, coming down shirtless like that was a completely unfair move.” Shane joked quietly and he felt and heard Ryan let out a breathy laugh.

 

“Is that the only reason you apologized first, Stilts?” Ryan looked up to him with a small glimmer in his eyes and he grinned a bit.

 

“Of course not! But it did improve my mood.” Ryan shook his head and smiled. He pulled away and rested his hand on the counter only to yank it away with a hiss.

 

“ _Ow! What the fuck?!_ ” Ryan cursed and Shane grabbed his hand and quickly brushed off the salt with his own, ignoring the burning of his fingertips.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry, baby. I spilt salt. Fuck.” Shane muttered as he studied the bright pink burns on Ryan’s hand from where it had come into contact with the salt. Ryan calmed him down and lead them to the couch.

 

Ryan laid down and Shane draped himself over his partner, one arm hanging off the couch and his chin resting on the back of his other hand which was sprawled against Ryan’s sternum. They laid like that talking for a bit, joking around, while Shane couldn’t help her glance at and run his fingers across Ryan’s injured hand, ignoring his own.

 

“We should have gotten rid of that salt ages ago.” Shane mused with furrowed brows as he studied Ryan’s burns. The smaller demon sighed and pulled him up into a lazy kiss.

 

“It’s okay, you make me feel better.” Ryan hummed and Shane smiled in return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate apologies with excuses so my boys didn’t make excuses.


	4. I Wanna Hold You (When I’m Not Suppose To)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anael tries to find what the damn mark is but would rather spend time with Eugene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY  
> AGGHHHHH IM TRASH
> 
> We’re catching up with Anael and Eugene this chapter!  
> I’m sorry for taking so long. 
> 
> I DONT DESERVE FEEDBACK AND IM SORRY :(

Anael cursed under his breath as he reread the first line on the same page he’s been on for forty minutes. His finger idly ran up and down the short length of the page between where his hand was resting and the corner. The book was musty and old and definitely not what he wanted to be doing after a Monday at the office. His other hand felt fused to his cheek from resting on it so long as his elbow was propped up on the desk.

 

Spread out on the wall the desk was facing was a cork board of possible leads to what Ryan’s mark actually was and what it actually did. It was discouragingly barren and didn’t improve the angels glum outlook on the situation. Him, Eugene, Ned, and Shane have been searching for months, not letting Ryan onto that they have. They didn’t want to stress the half-demon out any more than he already was.

 

Anael was faintly aware of the gentle patter of paws and nails hitting the hardwood floor as Pesto came to check on him again, wresting his snout on his thigh and gently whining. He was in hellhound form and looking up at Anael with sad, worried, eyes. Anael lifted his hand from the book and pet Pesto’s head in reassurance as the hellhound licked his palm before moving to lay down on the floor next to his chair.

 

“Still stressing yourself out, Wings?” Eugene asked as he sauntered into the living room. Anael had been spending nearly every day at Eugene’s place for the last few months since he first came to Earth. He had grown increasingly attached to the demon and Pesto, spending as much time as possible here rather than his own empty apartment a few blocks away. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he reflexively caught a pop tart that Eugene had thrown at him.

 

“Months of research, talking to Amenadiel, and grasping at straws and we have nothing.” Anael huffed as he leaned back in the cushioned office chair and pressed the heals of his palms against his eyes. “How is this mark old enough for every angel I’m able to talk to to not know about it? Amenadiel is the oldest and he doesn’t even remember!”

 

Eugene chuckled and walked over to the angel before nudging him forward a bit in the chair. Anael let his arms fall bonelessly against his lap and glared at the nearly empty cork board in front of him. He only closed his eyes when he felt Eugene kneading at his shoulders, working out the knots that formed there and causing him to melt into the chair a bit.

 

“We’ll find something. We’ve beat the odds in the past.” Eugene assured him and Anael nodded a bit.

 

“You’re a man after my own heart, Sinnerman.” Anael smirked as Eugene pressed down hard, purposefully. The angel’s brows furrowed as a flash of a hazy memory streaked through his mind. It was Hell. He knew that. But not any moment he remembered from his one trip. It was a blood smeared face looking worriedly at him near the entrance. Anael didn’t have time to dig at it further as Eugene clapped him on the shoulders and brought him back to the present. He opened his eyes and craned his neck back to look up at the demon.

 

“Take a break, Angel. Do some self care. Preen or something.” Eugene said with a teasing tone as he stepped back. Anael spun in his chair to watch the other man retreat to the couch before flopping down. The demon was wearing a causal, by his standards, grey button up with the sleeves rolled to his elbows and the first few buttons undone. Paired with jeans and black socks.

 

“Speaking of preening, you’re gonna lose all your feathers if you don’t take better care of them.” Anael chastised as he stood and sat on the couch next to the demon, stretching himself out causing his back to pop from the position he held slouched over the desk for so long. He grazed his eyes over the seventeen books in the finished pile that held no helpful information and the much smaller pile of books still to go.

 

“I’d rather not have feathers at all, you know that.” Eugene responded curtly. The angel turned to look at the other man and studied his purposely stoic features, still catching the way his fingers tightened around his phone as he scrolled through Twitter.

 

“Well, it would finally be one thing about you that’s not infuriatingly perfect.” Anael purred and Eugene rolled his eyes at him before grinning a bit.

 

“You’re a fucking liar.” The demon replied with no real heat behind his words. Anael smirked and shook his head before nudging Eugene to face the other side.

 

“Sit up and face away from me. If you aren’t gonna take care of them, I will.” Anael stated and gave Eugene an unrelenting look before the demon hesitantly complied. “Show me your wings, Demon.” Anael murmured and Eugene laughed a bit.

 

“You’re a kinky angel, huh?” Eugene teased and Anael just pushed his shoulder in response. After a moment matte black wings unfurled from the demon’s back and Anael took stock of what he had to fix.

 

“Wow, for someone who’s always looking his best, you sure do not give a fuck about these.” Anael said as he started straightening the feathers nearly grazing the ground in front of the couch, putting himself in an odd bent angle to reach them.

 

“If I knew you were gonna criticize me through out this, I would have kicked you out of my house.” Eugene snarked as his wings moved to reflect his irritation. The demon put his phone down and tried to focus on not feeling exposed.

 

“No, you wouldn’t have.” Anael’s response was confirmed by silence from the other man. The angel found himself lost in thought as he continued to realign the feathers while rubbing out some dirt along the way. Flashes of the half memory kept crossing his mind, nearly giving him a headache from trying to focus on them.

 

“Whatcha thinking about back there?” Eugene asked before shivering and arching his back a bit when Anael grazed where his wing and back met with the back of his knuckle. He was nearly finished with this wing when he was snapped out of his thoughts by the question.

 

“Just an odd memory that’s been popping up in my head for a while now. I can’t place it and I only see a millisecond of it. It’s definitely from the short time I was in Hell, but other than that I know nothing of it.” Anael offered openly, comfortable with the demon in front of him that’s he’s gotten to know quiet well these last few months.

 

“That’s odd. Why were you and Hell anyways?” Eugene asked, subconsciously leaning into the touch now that he was completely relaxed, tension having drained out of him after the first couple of minutes.

 

“We were sent to retrieve a soul, as I mentioned before. But other than that I don’t know. I was sent by the asshole angels that are trying to kill us now.” Anael replied as he ran a flat hand across the finished wing. He turned Eugene to face him, Anael paused a second to watch the other man study him,and got up to move behind the demon again so he could start on the other wing without confinement from the back of the couch.

 

“Why were you working for them?” Eugene asked tentatively and Anael paused a second before resuming his work at the tip.

 

“They captured me. Having the position that I did before everything went to shit meant I spent a lot of time on Earth. I didn’t really have a garrison. So when they captured me they told me I could either do as they say or they’d kill the one friend I did have.” Anael spoke softly and Eugene turned his head a bit to look at him. “They killed him anyway. But they made me think he was still alive till a little before I came here.”

 

“Im sorry.” Eugene said softly and Anael smiled a bit and ran his fingers through the splay of feathers before him. Each one was softer than anything on Earth, caressing his fingers as he tracked the movement with his eyes.

 

“It’s the past. And now I actually have friends.” Anael replied with a light smile.

 

“How come you didn’t make friends with all the time you were on Earth originally?” Eugene asked and Anael chuckled.

 

“I bring love and affection. I was never meant to receive it. Ironic, isn’t it? And unfair. To bring happiness to someone else, to give them everything you can, and receive a lonely and empty life in return.” Anael spoke without fully thinking but didn’t mind given the company he currently kept.

 

“Well, those roles are meaningless now. You’re here on Earth with us.” Eugene replied and the angel smiled before he continued his work properly.

 

“You’re right.” He said simply and Eugene relaxed back into his touch once again.

 

“This is a bit... intimate for friends, isn’t it?” Eugene questioned after a long moment and Anael laughed.

 

“I’ve been at your house everyday for months. This is hardly the most intimate thing that’s happened.” Anael purred and he didn’t have to see Eugene’s face to know that the demon had rolled his eyes.

 

Anael noticed when Eugene straightened up a bit and started fidgeting in place. Anael was still working on the middle of his wing so he knew he was close to anywhere particularly sensitive.

 

“You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to. However, I should tell you I heard a good bit of what you were telling Ryan at Keith’s party. Even if I didn’t mean to eavesdrop.” Anael murmured and the demon seemed to slump slightly in front of him.

 

“Oh.” Eugene replies quietly and Anael’s hands faltered where they held a single feather. He ran it between his fingertips before laying it flat. He sighed and moved forward to wrap his arms around the demon sitting in front of him. His arms looped around so his hands rested on opposite shoulders, arms crossing the demon’s chest. Eugene’s back was pressed gently against his torso, the angel being very mindful of the demon’s wings yet still trying to anchor the man down. He felt Eugene’s fingers wrap loosely around his forearms and counted the steady breathes the demon took, causing his own breathing to match the pace. He rested his chin where Eugene’s shoulder curved into his neck and just held him in silence.

 

“You know, I usually hate hugs... But I don’t mind this one.” Eugene added the last part as he felt the angel start to pull away.

 

They sat in that position for a few more minutes, Anael reluctant to let go of his friend even if he wasn’t leaving him. Anael finally pulled away to finish up the last half before patting Eugene on the shoulders gently. The demon takes the sign that they’re done and his wings disappear once again, the other man not wanting them in sight whenever possible.

 

“They’re beautiful you know.” Anael stated and Eugene turned his head to look at the angel before leaning back so his back is resting against Anael’s chest. The angel doesn’t move while the demon played with his hands, not wanting to push Eugene out of his carefully lined out comfort zone he’s built himself.

 

“I don’t hate them because they’re ugly.” Eugene replied after a minute as a mirthless small smile crossed his lips.

 

“I know.” Anael replied softly.

 

They stay like that for a while, comfortable silence cascading over them as Eugene played with Anael’s hands, studying the contours and small barely noticeable scars. Anael lets him and after a while, gently pressed the bottom half of his face against Eugene’s hair, strands tickling his upper lip and surrounding him with Eugene’s distinct scent more than he already was in the demon’s home.

 

Eventually, they move to the kitchen. Anael sat on the counter and watched Eugene move around the kitchen, making a meal for two. It ended up being a short period of time and chatting as Eugene settled on oven bake pizza. When the oven finally cut through their banter with a ding, Anael hopped down and helped Eugene cut the pizza and disperse it onto two different plates. They talked about lighter subjects as they made their way to the living room again. They sat on the couch and Eugene turned on the tv with a slight wave of his hand and got excited as Adventure Time started playing. Anael laughed as the demon enthusiastically sang along to the opening theme, nearly toppling over the plate that was balanced in his lap.

 

They continued to watch the show long after their plates were empty and abandoned on the coffee table and Eugene raved about the show as Anael listened intently.

 

When one am rolled around, they were both fast asleep with the tv causing lights to dance across them both. Eugene was sprawled out on the couch with his legs splayed across Anael’s lap. The angel had a hand on the demon’s legs and they both rested peacefully with the knowledge that the other was there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soft chapter with light angst. I hope you liked it. 
> 
> I know I don’t deserve feedback because I’m trash but I would adore it if you gave me some :(


	5. I’ve Learned to Lose, You Can’t Afford To.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys get back to work.
> 
> Unfortunately so has someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY!!!!’
> 
> I know it’s been a while, life got hectic. 
> 
> I’m really sorry and I know I don’t deserve your feedback but I always appreciate it :(
> 
> A longer chapter to bring this fic back into the swing of things!

A few days later Ryan found himself in the lobby of an inn in Stockbridge, Massachusetts. The Red Lion Inn felt like a brightly lit old Victorian home with a gift shop, far from their usual locations. The desk they stood at seemed out of place next to the large dinning hall a little ways further in and the sitting room with old style furniture and oak tables in the room across from them. He heard other guests chatting not only in the rooms next to them, but throughout the inn and he found himself wondering if they’d actually see a ghost in a place like this.

 

The inn was built in 1773 and has been hosting guest ever since. The only time it faced closure was when it was burnt down in 1896 and even then only briefly until it was rebuilt. Apparently, still managing an older feel in reminiscence of the time of when it was built. The remarkable array of collectibles were saved from the fire and its been in operation since then.

 

“Now remember, Ry, there’s other people here so keep the screaming to a minimum.” Shane teased as he accepted the keys from the very confused and concerned looking clerk helping them. Ryan rolled his eyes and turned to the other man.

 

“I’m sorry, he has a strange sense of humor.” Ryan apologized to the man behind the desk who’s name tag read ‘Nick’.

 

“Well it’s just a fact that you scream the most out of everyone here.” Shane motioned to Tj and the rest of the crew before giving Nick a suggestive wink. Ryan glared at his boyfriend before dragging him away towards the stairs.

 

“I hate you.” Ryan grumbled and shook his head as Shane draped an arm over his shoulders as the crew chatted behind them. Shane chuckled and kissed his cheek.

 

“Sorry, Ry, the kid just couldn’t keep you out of his head. While you were admiring the fine China he was undressing you with his eyes.” Shane pulled him closer and Ryan laughed.

 

“So your solution was to have him think of me screaming?” Ryan asked as they reached the first room they were going to set up in.

 

“What can I say? He had to be let known that it would be me making you-“ Shane was cut off when Ryan clamped a hand over his mouth and laughed.

 

“You’re gonna drive Tj to quite, Madej” Ryan lead them into the room after letting go of his demon and studied the older looking furniture and the light pouring into the window.

 

They all started setting up cameras and equipment as the sun started making its descent. When they were ready to film Ryan got in his usual mode for investigations by making sure to react to every noise and act more scared than he actually was. He could sense there was something in the room but it was going out of its way to skirt around them and be unknown.

 

After a few hours of going to the three different rooms they booked, they settled back into room 301, where they had started and the nervous spirit still resided.

 

“I’m just gonna...” Shane said casually as he went into the large closet area and shut the unusually large door. The closet itself was like an entirely different room with wooden hangers and an ironing board. “Three minutes, start the clock!” Shane yelled from the other side and Ryan rolled his eyes.

 

He heard Shane talking to his own camera, the usual taunting mixed in with him talking about how Ryan wasn’t going to fair well during his turn.

 

“Three minutes are up, Madej.” Ryan stated while acting more nervous than he was. Shane came out holding a lone purple flower between his pointer finger and thumb.

 

“I was given a gift!” Shane stated before tucking it behind his ear and posing with a smile at one of the cameras.

 

“This is the room where guests report seeing a small girl holding flowers.” Ryan groaned for show but talked to Shane in his head ‘ _how sweet, you’re getting along with a ghost!’_ Shane turned to him and grinned

 

‘ _Don’t expect this to be a regular occurrence, short stuff’_ he heard Shane in his head and grinned a little. “It’s your turn, Ryan! Time to get back in the closet!” Shane stated and Ryan made a face at the joke.

 

Ryan went in and closed the door, holding his camera and the spirit box before he started his usual questioning. Not long after he saw the girl that had given the flower to Shane. She had long brown hair and was wearing a light blue dress. Ryan didn’t notice anything more because she looked absolutely terrified.

 

“Is there anyone in here with me?” He questioned, looking around but still glancing at the girl. She backed up against the far wall and started crying.

 

“Can you tell me your name?” Ryan asked and the girl disappeared completely. He slouched a little bit and tried not to think of why she was scared before he turned on the spirit box.

 

It came to life with its usual intensity and he continued to ask questions but three minutes seemed to stretch into ten as the noise from his demon and the crew faded until it was just silence except for the static roaring out of the small device in his hands.

 

“Shane?” He asked towards the door and was slightly startled when he saw his own breath illuminated by his flashlight. The hairs on his arms and neck stand on end and a shiver slowly crawls it’s way down his spine.

 

Ryan jumps a little as scratching coming from the wall behind him as his chest tightens and his breathing picks up in pace. He stands quickly and lets his eyes melt into black in hopes to see whatever is happening. It’s coming from inside the walls and leaves his pulse pounding in his ears. This wasn’t a ghost. Certainly not the little girl who gifted Shane the flowers.

 

The spirit box was still on the floor where he had dropped it in his haste to stand and was fading in noise as the static seems to drift further and further away. Ryan is still very aware of his breathing and jumps when his flashlight starts to flicker on the floor next to the spirit box before slowly fading out.

 

It seemed like he was standing in the same exact position for half an hour, listening, tense, waiting. His breathing didn’t slow down and he couldn’t find it in himself to move.

 

Suddenly, a cacophony of voices pierce through the air and made him tumble backwards away from the spirit box. They were shrill and panicked as their shrieking grew in volume.

 

“ _neque sanctiores caelum. neque sanctiores caelum. **neque sanctiores caelum** ”_ they repeated louder and louder as Ryan covered his ears before the silence returned.

 

He panted as he stared at the spirit box and his flashlight blinked back on. Everything looked as though nothing had happened. He suddenly heard Shane talking causally to the cameras.

 

“Times up, Ry!” Shane called and Ryan could have sworn he had been in here much longer than three minutes. He collected his flashlight, spirit box, and camera before emerging from the room. He must have looked genuinely shaken up still because Shane tilted his head and gave him a concerned look.

 

“We’re you messing with me? That was like half an hour!” Ryan asked as he tried to act more normal and calm his erratic heart beat.

 

“You’re being a little dramatic, Ryan. It was three minutes, I swear!” Shane replied in a teasing tone but sent comfort through the bond.

 

Ryan nodded and made a weak joke before they moved on with the investigation, words he heard in the closet seared into the forefront of his mind. They continued to banter, even if Ryan stayed closer to Shane than usual when they were filming. He was pretending to jump before at the noises, now it caused him to jump and gravitate a little closer to his boyfriend each time.

 

Finally, they got ready to sleep in room 301, much to Ryan’s dismay. The crew packed up save for one camera they positioned in the corner of the room facing towards them. Ryan went and flicked the camera off when the crew left and turned to Shane quickly.

 

“Was it really only three minutes?” Ryan asked while walking over to where his demon sat on the bed.

 

“I promise you, babe, it was only three minutes. You were talking for two and then just went silent for the last minute.” Shane replied honestly while grabbing both Ryan’s hands and looking up at him.

 

“Honestly, Shane, it felt like half an hour. There was scratching, loud scratching, coming from inside the walls around me, it was freezing, the flashlight was flickering, and the spirit box kept repeating this same phrase...” Ryan trailed off and Shane pulled him down to sit on the bed next to him, long arms looped around him as Shane kissed his temple.

 

“Sounds like a scene from the Exorcist, with less bodily fluids I hope.” Shane was joking but his tone was soft as he played with Ryan’s hair.

 

“This isn’t funny Shane. It kept repeating na- uh, neque sanctiores caelum. What even is that? Latin?” Ryan persisted and Shane’s hand froze.

 

“Yeah. Really bad Latin but it’s Latin.” Shane said simply, obviously trying to come across as nonchalant.

 

“What does it mean?” Ryan asked before Shane kissed him for a long moment.

 

“Does it even matter? They’re just trying to get a rise out of you, Ry. Pesky spirits-“

 

“Shane. Please” Ryan cut him of and Shane sighed. After a long moment Shane met his eyes before looking away.

 

“I’m guessing it was suppose to mean ‘destroyer of the Heavens’ but like I said, it’s trash Latin.” Shane mumbled and Ryan felt his heart drop. Ryan was silent for a long moment before he let out a sharp breath.

 

“They were talking about me. Amel said I would-“

 

“I know what Amel said. Just don’t worry about it, okay Ry? A demon, or even an angel, wouldn’t speak Latin that badly. Probably just a spirit that took two years of Latin in high school and got in your head.” Shane reassured him and pulled him against his chest so Ryan was laying on top of Shane.

 

“Okay... But if I go all Jack Torrance in this inn, you’re partially to blame.” Ryan muttered as Shane’s laugh reverberated through his chest.

 

They talked for a while longer, each mumbled word from Shane soothing Ryan more and more until this just felt like any other hotel room. A long while later they turned the camera back on and went to separate sides of the bed. Ryan couldn’t sleep, which wasn’t unusual on location with the anxiety he still held after their first encounter with Amel, but he focused on Shane’s breathing next to him. The emotions trickling through the string that bound them together at whatever Shane was dreaming of, their fingers carefully tangled together under the blankets, and the warmth he could still feel even if they had to sleep further away from each other than usual.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

When morning came Ryan was eager to get out of there. He saw a glimpse of the little girl again and chose to steer clear. Ryan was still dejected from scaring the girl, remembering Molly at the Lord Baltimore hotel and how she hadn’t been this afraid. Thoughts of the mark changing him, causing ghosts to be terrified of him, rattled around his head up until the point where they were loading up the car that would take them to the airport.

 

They arrived in LA around three pm and decided to head to the office for a couple hours to run some of the commentary and some of the editing done.

 

Even after making good progress and talking to Eugene, Ryan was still feeling gloomy. He didn’t know why he tried his best to hide it from Shane because his boyfriend saw right through him.

 

“How bout we skip date night tonight and go relax at home?” Shane asked casually, not letting on that he suggested it out of worry for Ryan.

 

“You sure? You were pretty excited about that new Mexican fusion restaurant.” Ryan asked instead of answering, wanting nothing more to retreat to the safety of their warded apartment.

 

“It’ll still be there tomorrow! Besides, I miss our bed and not having to keep a foot of space between us.” Shane turned to him where they were walking down the sidewalk to Ryan’s car. Shane stuck out his bottom lip in an exaggerated pout and Ryan grinned.

 

“That does sound nice. We do have that ridiculous Bigfoot show we’ve been meaning to watch.” Ryan turned and started walking backwards while grinning up at his boyfriend and batting his eyes.

 

“You keep looking at me like that, doll, and I don’t think we’ll watch the show at all.” Shane laughs and Ryan nearly falls backwards but Shane grabs him and hoists him back up. Shane is holding him in his arms with a smirk and Ryan rolled his eyes, anticipating the corny remark about to come. “I know you fell for me, but come on you dork.”

 

“Shut up Madej.” Ryan grinned and kissed Shane deeply before pulling back when the sound of catcalls echoed towards them. They looked over to see Kelsey, Eugene, and Quinta at the center of the noise as they made their way out of the building too.

 

Shane let him go and turned to give them a cheesy bow and Ryan can’t help but admire his big goof.

 

They finally make it home and Ryan yawned and stretched, the knowledge of being perfectly safe at home causing the bone dead exhaustion to catch up with him. Shane comes up behind him and wraps his arms around Ryan’s torso and they stumble towards the stairs, Shane letting out fake ‘oh no!’s as he purposely makes them fall in the opposite direction of the stairs every few steps. Ryan wheezed and tried his hardest to get them up to bed but was endlessly amused by his boyfriend’s antics.

 

“Having a some troubles walking there, little guy?” Shane asked as he held Ryan in place a couple feet from the stairs. Shane being full demon gave him the upper hand but Ryan was just as stubborn as his partner any day.

 

“Imma ax murder you, you fucking tree!” Ryan stated but let out a laugh soon afterwards as Shane easily picked him up and put him in a fireman’s carry.

 

“Have I ever told you how much I love your flirting? It just makes my heart melt when you say things like that!” Shane replied as he finally started up the stairs, Ryan over his shoulders.

 

They reach their room and Shane chose to fall backwards on the bed so his head rests on Ryan’s stomach as the smaller man laughed.

 

“I love you, Beanstalk, but Jesus Christ you’re a pain in the ass.” Ryan stated after he was able to stop the fit of laughter.

 

“In more ways than one.” Shane turned his head to look at Ryan and wink and Ryan started laughing again.

 

Soon after Shane put on the Bigfoot show, Ryan fell asleep in the same position as before, with one of his hands tangled in Shane’s hair and his other arm laying across Shane’s torso. After a few hours he was just barely aware enough to feel Shane gently move him to lay horizontally on the bed and pull him close to Shane’s chest. Warmth spread across Ryan’s cheek and he slept undisturbed.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Ryan woke up to a cold bed.

 

He turned and looked at the alarm clock on his nightstand and saw that it was four am. It was Saturday so he assured himself that Shane just couldn’t sleep and went downstairs.

 

As he listened, however, he didn’t hear any movement inside the house. He internally went to tug on the bond to tell Shane to get his ass back to bed but shot up in full panic instead.

 

His chest felt painfully empty. The bond was still there but just barely. Ryan threw himself out of bed and grabbed his phone before rushing downstairs, hoping this was just some messed up dream.

 

“Shane?! Shane this isn’t funny!” Ryan knew he wouldn’t get a response but if Shane popped out of a hiding spot right now, he knew he wouldn’t even be the slightest bit angry. “ _Shane Alexander Madej!_ ” Ryan yelled again, blind panic causing him to almost trip on the last step as he looked around the empty living room. He searched the rest of downstairs and he slammed the first button on his speed dial.

 

His heart was hammering in his chest and he just kept reaching for the string that was barely there, cold and empty. He felt like he was freezing and his head pounded from the silence he hasn’t been held there for months.

 

His thoughts just kept repeating that he had to find Shane. That there was a logical explanation for the bond being so faint. That they were safe in the apartment.

 

_They were safe at home._

 

Ryan’s chest burned where the mark laid and under that was painfully dull. The warmth usually spreading out to his veins was absent and panic was encasing him, eyes flickering through each room he slammed into, rushed fear causing his steps to falter.

 

His pulse hammered in his ears as his breathing picked up and then it felt as though his heart stopped when he heard Shane’s ringtone for him breaking through his thoughts and causing him to freeze. He stopped breathing as he slowly approached the kitchen with his phone clenched in his hand hanging at his side.

 

“Shane, hun? Please be here.” Ryan whispered to the dark kitchen where the ringing still broke threw the air. There wasn’t a response and Ryan couldn’t keep the quiver out of his voice, not caring about anything but his Shane. “ _Please, Shane._ ”

 

Ryan flicked on the light and barely registered the sound of his phone clattering to the ground, Shane’s voicemail coming through as the ringing stopped. His voice tugging at Ryan’s chest where the string he’s become so tangled up in should be.

 

“ _Shane Madej, if it’s important leave a message and I’ll get back to ya.”_

 

Ryan felt cold and none of this felt real.

 

_It couldn’t be real._

 

He tugged on the bond again to find pain shooting up his side. He barely reacted as he stared at the kitchen counter.

 

Shane’s phone sat under the little teal UFO Shane had gotten him months ago. The gift that usually sat at the office.

 

Both were coated in blood.

 

The pain in his side dulled as the bond faded in and out before steadying to a faint thrum again.

 

“ ** _Ned!_** ” Ryan yelled as the empty space in his chest pounded painfully. He barely noticed the cupboards flying open, the plates and glasses flying across the room, the furniture in the living room dragging across the ground as they slammed violently against the walls.

 

He didn’t notice any of it.

 

Ryan could only notice the hole in his chest and the clear absence of his demon.

 

Of the man he loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Quite when I’m coming home, and I’m on my own.”


	6. In a Room Full of Lighters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ned tried to hold Ryan together. 
> 
> The mark has other plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I NEEDED TO GET A CHAPTER OUT BEFORE THE NEW YEAR
> 
> I’m sorry for how long it took! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy and I absolutely adore everyone of your comments!!!
> 
> Let me know what you think!

Ryan was light headed.

 

He knew he was muttering to himself but all his focus was on the empty pit in the center of his rib cage.

 

“When will this end? _Please_ , can this end?”

 

He realized he was on his hands and knees and he’s vaguely aware that he is still destroying his and Shane’s apartment without a thought but he doesn’t care.

 

Ryan felt impossibly cold. His chest was in a vice, stomach turning and throat tight like he was going to vomit.

 

It’s all too much. It’s been too much. The last nine months have been hell.

 

But he had Shane to hold him down.

 

Shane who was always right there with him.

 

His arm burned and stung but he stayed were he was, chaos erupting around him.

 

Then Ryan was being pulled up with two hands around both of his upper arms. The fog of dread lifted for a moment as he saw Ned, concern etched across his face. Ryan finally felt the tears that had been looming spill down his cheeks as Ned cupped his head and gently made Ryan focus on him.

 

“Ryan! Ry, what are you doing?” Ned asked urgently as he looked around the decimated apartment, cups, books, and cutlery flying past them towards the walls.

 

“He’s gone. I woke up and he was gone. And he- he took the bond with him. I have to find him! I - I need...” the tears started coming faster and Ned pulled Ryan’s head towards his shoulder.They sat on the floor with the angel hugging Ryan tightly, one of Ned’s hands in his hair and the other on his back. Ryan leaned heavily on his friend as Ned muttered reassurance that they will find him. The room around them stilled and Ryan could only hear his own heartbeat pounding in his ears as Ned held him, cool air that surrounded the angel bringing him back to reality. Grounding him. 

 

Ryan felt himself become more aware as Ned held him, like a camera coming back into focus. But it hurt. Everything fucking hurt. He turned his head slightly to look at the destruction he unintentionally caused and knew Shane wouldn’t be happy with it when he came home.

 

If he... No. Shane _will_ come home.

 

Ryan’s lungs still burned. He tried gripping for the bond again and is grateful that even a small thread was still there. He became more aware of the sharp pain in his side he initially felt when he stumbled into the kitchen. Pain in his right forearm made itself known as he winced and brought it closer to his chest.

 

“When will this end. Please can this end.” Ryan repeated but he looked to his friend for an answer this time. Ned sighed with a remorsefulexpression and looked like he was going to say something but instead pulled Ryan against him again. Ned was quiet and started to rock Ryan side to side, how he would often sooth Wes.

 

“Ry, what happened?” Ned asked quietly and Ryan fisted Ned’s night shirt in his hands in a death grip and shook his head where it was resting on the angel’s shoulder.

 

“I- I don’t know. But the bond is - it’s almost completely gone. And Shane’s gone too. I found his phone and a gift he gave me from the office on the counter. They- they’re covered in blood, Ned.” Ryan tried to get his breathing under control. Shane probably wasn’t this much of a mess when he disappeared. No. Shane would be focused on getting him back, not having a meltdown and destroying their apartment.

 

“Shane was in hell for centuries. Not to mention he was freaking out when you disappeared. Even if he tried to hide it from the rest of us.” Ned responded to the thought Ryan hadn’t realized he said out loud.

 

“We need to get him back.” Ryan said while sitting up and looking at Ned, determination settling in his chest.

 

Ned nodded and stood before pulling Ryan up. The angel glanced around before his gaze landed on the phone and teal UFO sitting unaffected amongst clutter and debris. He squeezed Ryan’s shoulder one last time before taking a few steps and picking up the two items and pressing a button to illuminate the phone screen. A picture of Shane and Ryan glowed through the blood splatter. Ryan was smiling at the camera but Shane was very clearly smiling at Ryan. They were on location, both in jackets and Ryan wearing a baseball cap. Shane’s hair was a mess and he was wearing his glasses. They looked happy. The picture was out of place under the gore and Ned turned the screen off to remove it.

 

“We’ll find him Ry. Just like how we found you.”Ned turned to Ryan and finally got a good look at him. His eyes were puffy but there was a renewed sense of determination set behind them, his hair was disheveled, and his arms hung loosely at his sides. Ned’s caught sight of blood smeared across his forearm and Ned put both items in the pockets of his sweatpants before walking quickly over to the demon. “You’re hurt? What else happened?” He asked urgently as he grabbed Ryan’s arm but moved it more gently when Ryan hissed in pain. There was a long, deep, jagged cut that wrapped around the middle of his forearm, bleeding steadily.

 

“Must’ve happened when-“ Ryan motioned with his other arm to the wrecked living room and kitchen. Ned nodded and focused on trying to heal it. When nothing happened, the angel felt his heart rate pick up but instead of showing it looked up to his friend.

 

“Stay here. I’ll go get something to clean this up.” Ryan nods half heartedly, still aware but not really focused on his arm at the moment.

 

Ned left and rummaged through the cabinets in the downstairs bathroom before finding the first aid kit. He brought it back to the kitchen to find Ryan exactly how he left him. Ned got to work cleaning and wrapping the wound as his mind wandered as to why he couldn’t heal Ryan. He still had a soul. He still had humanity. Yet, he was part demon and that meant Ned couldn’t heal him. But Ryan also didn’t heal as quickly as full demons. Worry made it’s way through him. If rescuing Shane got dangerous...

 

“That should do it for now. I don’t think it’ll need stitches.” Ned stated as he finished taping the bandages in place. Ryan is still in his own thoughts as Ned studied his friend. An overwhelming sense of needing to protect Ryan clouded his own thoughts as he went to get a glass of water from one of the few undamaged cups. Ryan takes it and Ned started looking him over for any other injuries until Ryan snapped out of his own head.

 

“Thanks, Ned. We should go tell Eugene and Anael.” Ryan said dully. Ned paused his fussing to look at Ryan again and let out a long breath. He placed both hands on Ryan’s shoulders and waited till the demon focused on him and met his eyes before squeezing his shoulders.

 

“We will find him. Shane’s strong. He’ll be able to handle himself until we get to him.” Ned stated as facts and Ryan nodded and chuckled humorlessly.

 

“He’s definitely stronger than me in this situation.” Ryan muttered as he glanced one last time around the apartment.

 

“Hey, I would have done the same if it were Ariel. You’ve both been through a lot and we all have our breaking points.” Ned responded as he let the demon’s shoulders go.

 

“I’ll have to apologize to him. I’ve put him through this too, and this is the worst.” Ryan shook his head and finally felt himself steady again. Anger heating the place where the bond use to keep him warm.

 

“Hey, you’re both gonna give me gray hairs.” Ned joked and smiled as a faint grin worked its way on to Ryan’s face. “Now, let’s go get the other two. We need a game plan and to figure out who we’re huntin’ down.”

 

Ryan nodded before Ned took them from the empty apartment that was suppose to be safe.

 

>>>>>>>>>>>

 

Eugene was asleep on the couch with his legs splayed over Anael’s lap, tv playing some show that had turned into white noise a while ago, when the presence of someone else caused him to jolt awake. The demon stood up quickly which caused Anael to wake up too, much more groggy but he pushed himself to his feet to stand at Eugene’s side.

 

“Calm down, It’s us.” Ned’s voice cut over the noise from the show. Eugene gestured to the tv and it flicked off as Ned turned on the lights to the living room.

 

“Too bright!” Anael groaned as he rubbed his eyes, letting himself relax now that he knew him and Eugene were safe.

 

“What happened?!” Eugene demanded as he saw the bandages on Ryan’s arm and the look on his face. Anael glanced up at that and tilted his head in concern as Ryan looked away and ran a hand through his hair.

 

“Shane disappeared. The bond is barely here, and I cut my arm while I destroyed our apartment during the resulting breakdown.” Ryan footnotes as the fire in his chest grew. The anger that kept edging through him by the second scared him. But now nearly enough to override it.

 

“What? How?” Eugene asked as he approached the smaller demon. Ryan took a few steps back and ran both hands through his hair again, stress only adding fuel to the fire.

 

“I don’t know! _Our home was suppose to be safe!_ Anael, you said we’d be safe!” Ryan burst out, earning surprised looks from Eugene and Ned. Anael’s shoulders fell a bit and remorse filled his blue eyes.

 

“I’m sorry, Ryan. It was suppose to keep demons other than you, Shane, and Eugene out. Along with angels other than myself and Ned.” Anael offered gently and Ryan turned around.

 

“Well obviously it didn’t work!” Ryan yelled and pushed the heel of his hands into his eyes. The fire burning a hole in his chest as it quickly got out of control. “He’s gone! I was sleeping upstairs and he just disappeared without me knowing!” He felt like he was being smothered. It was hard to breathe, the heat was unbearable, it felt like flames were licking his ribcage up to his throat, his head pounded painfully, and static encased his limbs.

 

And he almost heard an audible snap.

 

Like it echoed around in his own head.

 

Then he felt nothing.

 

>>>>>>>>>

 

Eugene watched as everything stopped at once.

 

One second Ryan was yelling at Anael, the next his arms fell to his side and an eerie calm seemed to wash over him.

 

The room was silent, no one knowing what had just happened. Ryan’s anger was understandable to Eugene. He’s seen many people go through it in times of distress throughout the centuries.

 

But it had very obviously and suddenly turned into a whole new situation.

 

“Ryan?” Ned asked from where he stood a foot away from the half demon. Eugene suddenly felt dread wash over him and placed himself between Ryan and Anael.

 

“Ned, don’t. Back up.” Eugene warned as the angel gave him a confused look before complying.

 

“What are you so worried about, Eugene?” Ryan asked casually. It sounded off. Emotionless but still like Ryan. “You aren’t scared of me are you?” Ryan finally looked up and to the other demon and Eugene tensed immediately.

 

Ryan’s eyes were a deep red. There was no emotion behind them. The smirk he wore was glaringly out of place. Ryan straightened up in a fluid motion and the lights flickered. The temperature in the room seemed to increase even as Eugene’s blood ran cold.

 

“You’re not our Ryan.” Eugene stated and Ned backed up some more, eyes never leaving the half demon that seemed like a stranger now.

 

Eugene let his eyes melt to black as his horns and tail appeared, ready for a fight physically. Mentally, he knew he wouldn’t be able to hurt Ryan. Hoping against all odds for a resolution that wouldn’t leave anyone injuries or worse.

 

“Oh come on, _pretty boy!_ I’m still your Ryan. Just better. Less burdened. You may not remember, but humanity is such a pesky little thing.” Eugene growled at the nickname Shane often called him coming out so apathetic and tauntingly.

 

“Ryan, this isn’t you. We can’t lose Shane and you. We can’t get him back without-“ Ned was interrupted when he was flung against the wall and pinned. Ryan looked furious now, left hand outstretched as Ned fought against his hold. Eugene was shocked at how easily he had Ned pinned.

 

Not only that, but the fire currently engulfing Ryan’s other hand, flames licking up his wrist towards the bandage wrapped around his arm.

 

“ _Shane isn’t lost!_ I’m going to get him. And I’ll kill whoever stands in my way.” Ryan growled out as he let Ned fall to the floor. The angel quickly recovered and placed a hand out in front of him.

 

“We aren’t standing in your way, Ry! We want to help. But you have to let us.” Ned never broke eye contact, not wanting to make any move that might hurt Ryan.

 

“Shane wouldn’t want this, Ry. He doesn’t love the mark or the power. He loves you. We will save him. But not like this.” Eugene added while slowly walking towards the other demon. Ryan didn’t relax, he glared at Eugene as he approached.

 

He felt Anael put a hand on his shoulder but shrugged it off. He needed to get his Ryan back. His far too empathetic, excitable, and quick learning Ryan.

 

“What makes you think I want to go back? That I want things how they were?” Ryan asked as he turned smoothly to face Eugene, head tilted, cold eyes burning into him. “That I need any of you?” Ryan’s lips twisted up into a malicious grin.

 

Eugene felt his back hit the wall before he was even aware his feet had left the ground. He fell hard onto the desk, scattering books and papers onto the floor before he followed them down. He got back up to see Anael thrown through the window and Ned trying to keep Ryan from advancing towards Eugene without hurting the demon. Eugene got up quickly and and helped put some distance between Ned and Ryan before he and the angel circled to opposite sides of Ryan. Anael still hadn’t reappeared and Eugene tried to not think of the worst possible scenario, remembering the angels on the trail that had tried to kill Ned.

 

“Who knows! Maybe I don’t need anyone. Maybe we do need a clean slate.” Ryan mocked with a smile as he studied them both, looking at ease.

 

“This is the mark talking, Ry. This isn’t you.” Ned stated as they both hesitate on attacking.

 

“Wishful thinking, angel. But your Ryan, the one you’re so overly protective of, is gone. You failed.” Ryan taunted with a shallow smirk.

 

“I guess we’ll see when you wake up.” Anael said, suddenly appearing behind Ryan, hand grasping the back of his head and catching the demon as his eyes rolled back and he collapsed. Eugene lets his shoulders fall as he watched Anael lift Ryan up and carry him to the couch. He lays the demon down gently and pushed his hair back before turning to them.

 

Eugene looked over to Ned to see the angel’s shoulders slouched and anxiety mask his face as he watched Ryan. Eugene puts a hand on Ned’s shoulder but the angel doesn’t respond.

 

“We should place a devil’s trap. Just in case.” Anael stayed as he looked wearily up to the other two.

 

They nod but no one moved as they watch Ryan for a few minutes. Thoughts going a mile a minute.

 

Each one of them hoping it’s their Ryan that wakes up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> “Tried to stay sober, tried to stay clean. Wake me when it’s over, like a bad dream.” Title from song The Mystic by Adam Jensen


	7. Today I’m Thinking About The Things That Are Deadly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The mark tears through Ryan as the search for Shane continues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I’m so sorry for the depression induced writers block that took me away from this for so long!  
> But I’m back baby.  
> Any and all feedback is welcome as I get back into the swing of things!

Eugene paced as they waited, throwing glances at Ryan every time he turned to walk the other way. He kept going over in his head outlandish ways he could’ve prevented this. If he’d checked in with them, would it have changed? If he hadn’t been so focused on whatever he had with Anael? How could’ve he done better?

 

How could he have  _been_   better?

 

Ned glanced up at his friend and sighed. He could hear Eugene’s thoughts and wanted to comfort him. But how could he? Ned had taken on the role as Ryan’s protector. And he’d failed time and time again. He was in the same boat as Eugene. He was sitting on the floor next to the freshly painted devils trap they had finally laid down not ten minutes before. 

 

Ryan’s been out for an hour while the anxiety in the room grew with every passing second. 

 

Ned looked up as Anael stood and ran a hand down his face, looking just as stressed and disheveled as Ned and Eugene. 

 

“You both need to stop blaming yourselves. It wasn’t either of your fault and you haven’t failed. Neither of them are dead. And beating yourselves up won’t bring us back our Ryan or save Shane.” Anael spoke softly but made sure his words reached his friends. 

 

Eugene stopped pacing and turned to Anael. 

 

“Our lives have been shit storm after shit storm recently. And it all started when I encouraged Shane and Ned to tell our humans the truth. If I had just kept my mouth shut-“

 

“Shane and Ryan wouldn’t be together. Ned, Keith, Zach, and you wouldn’t be as tightly bound with Shane and Ryan as you are now. You, Ned, and Shane would feel as though you’re still living out lies instead of your second chance at life. And I’d never would have sought you out.” Anael cut off Eugene and walked to stand in front of the man he’s grown so attached to.

 

“You don’t know that. Shane and Ryan would probably still end up together.” Eugene looked to the unconscious man on the couch instead of meeting Anael’s gaze. 

 

“But Shane would be hiding a big part of himself. Regardless, this is no way your fault. Or Neds, or Ryan’s, or Shane’s.” Anael started as he placed both hands on either of Eugene’s shoulders. 

 

Before Eugene could respond, Ryan shot up on the couch. 

 

Eugene felt his heart hammering at his ribs as nervous anxiety made his hand twitch. He forced himself to seem outwardly calm as the moments drew out to when they’d find out if it’s their Ryan they’re getting back. 

 

Ned stood quickly and moved closer until his toes were barely a breath away from the black painted lines of the devils trap. His throat felt dry as he tried to get a good look at the disoriented man on the couch. 

 

“Ry?” Ned asked far quieter than his usual boisterous tone. 

 

Ned and Eugene both deflated as crimson eyed flicked to look at Ned. Anael grabbed Eugene’s hand as Ryan stood and took in the devils trap unfurled beneath his feet. Ned let out the breath he was holding and closed his eyes tightly. They had all been hoping against hope that their friend would be back with them. 

 

“You surprised me, angel. I thought you’d be weaker with how you chase the heels of a demon. But I promise you, it won’t happen again.” Ryan stated calmly, the same cold and empty tone as before. 

 

“Ry, we just want to help. We want Shane back just as much-“ Ned started but was interrupted by a lamp hitting and shattering against the wall next to him. 

 

“Don’t you _dare_ say you want him back just as much as me.” Ryan growled out, anger seemingly the only emotion he’ll let through. 

 

“Okay. I’m sorry. I know this is hard, Ry-“

 

“Stop calling me that. I’m not your ‘ _Ry_ ’. I’m not your _charge_ , I’m not your _friend_ , I’m not your _son_ , I’m not your _anything_.” Ryan stepped to the edge of the devils trap, chest rising and falling harshly as he glared at the angel.

 

Ned took a deep breath but stayed planted where he was, just a few inches away from Ryan. 

 

“That’s where you’re wrong. You are my friend. You’re my Ry. You’re my family. And you can get as angry as you want. You can yell and say as much shit as you want. Hell, you could _kill_ me. But that won’t change how much I care- how much we all care- about you.” Ned never broke eye contact or faltered, trying his best to show Ryan the truth he was refusing to see.

 

Ryan swallowed hard and shook his head, letting out a hollow laugh. 

 

“I don’t  need you. I ’ m getting Shane back no matter what it takes.” Ryan stated but it was different than before. There was a tremor that they could just barely hear and he looked away and stepped back. 

 

“Ry, I’ve gotten to know you for almost a year now. And you do need us. Because when this power high that the mark has given you wears off, it’s gonna feel just like before. And if it doesn’t, if you really don’t need us, you’re going to have to kill us. Because there’s no way we are letting you do this alone.” Eugene responded while stepping up to stand next to Ned.

 

Ryan looked up and met Eugene’s eyes. Ryan stayed quiet for that moment and Eugene felt desperation and fear coming off him. Just barely there but enough to show that they’re getting through to him. 

 

Ryan squared his shoulders as though to lash out again but let out a ragged breath instead. 

 

“I need to get him back.” He said quietly. 

 

“I know.” Eugene replied simply, sending comfort Ryan’s way but unable to conceal how broken down he’s feeling in this moment. 

 

How tired he is. 

 

“It’s gonna be okay, Ry. No matter what happens, we’re still your family.” Ned said softly and Ryan looked to Ned and deflated a little. 

 

Ryan shook his head and tried to quell the emotions clawing up his throat again. He was tired of being in pain. He was tired of hurting everyone around him. 

 

“You think you can bring back your Ryan with this sappy bullshit? You think I _c-care_?” Ryan asked trying to mimic the same tone as before but flattered and stuttered. The fire in his chest was dying down and leaving way for the painful cold that had consumed him since he lost Shane. Guilt had his stomach in a vice grip as he felt himself slowly coming out of the rage that he had let consume him. 

 

Ned wanted to open the devils trap right then because any sign of their Ryan was better than having him locked up feeling alone. 

 

“I think you’re the same Ryan we’ve always known. That this mark hasn’t made an evil version of you. Maybe it has changed you, but you’re still our Ry.” Anael stated as he moved up next to Eugene. 

 

Anael waited until Ryan looked up at him before he reached through the devils trap and grabbed his hand gently. Fire licked his palm and burned but he didn’t let go. He just tightened his grip and waited for Ryan to make his next move. 

 

The burning receded and Ryan looked down at their hands before crimson eyes landed on Ned and Eugene. 

 

“I could easily pull you in here too and hurt you.” Ryan murmured but made no move to do so.

 

“I’m so sorry. I’m so _sorry_ I failed you both. You trusted me to make your home safe and I didn’t.”

 

“I need him.” Ryan tightened his grip on Anael’s hand and swallowed thickly. Shane had been wrong. He is a monster. Because like Anael said, he’s still the same Ryan. But he hurt his friends and let this mark affect him and let it make him want to do awful things. 

 

“You aren’t a monster. If you were, you wouldn’t be trying so hard to get Shane back. You wouldn’t want to.” Eugene replied aloud to his thoughts. 

 

“I tried to kill you remember?” The fire was almost completely gone now, and he was disgusted with himself that he almost missed it. 

 

Ned shook his head, remembering how easily Ryan turned the angels from the trail into nothing. 

 

“No, you didn’t. You tried pushing us away.” Ned replied while breaking the devils trap with his foot, smearing the black paint until it opened, rendering it useless. 

 

Ryan’s eyes faded back to brown as tears made them glisten. He took a labored breath and looked at Anael’s hand again, burns that Ryan had caused turning the skin an ugly pink. 

 

He looked up and saw hope in Ned and Eugene’s eyes. Along with exhaustion and the guilt in his stomach grew more. 

 

“I can’t lose any of you. You’d be safer if you hated me.” Ryan stated. He refused to cry anymore. He didn’t deserve to pity himself when he’s been hurting everyone he cares about. “A part of me really did want to kill all of you. I know it was the mark but for right now that mark is a part of me.”

 

“But you didn’t.” Eugene stated as Anael let go of his hand. He suddenly felt less anchored and backed away deeper into the useless devils trap. 

 

“But I’m scared. I can’t control myself. Shane-“  Even saying his name hurt. “Shane managed to keep a level head and not hurt any of you while I was in danger. Here I am, a complete selfish mess, losing my shit and crying. We should be out getting him back right now! But I fucked it up by being weak and panicky-“ he was cut off by Ned taking a step forward. He stumbled backwards and pressed himself against the arm of the couch. “Don’t. Please. We’ve wasted enough time on me. Shane needs us right now.” Ryan’s couldn’t help his voice breaking but he had to pull himself together.

 

For Shane. 

 

Ned nodded before holding out a hand for Ryan. The smaller demon still didn’t trust himself enough to leave the devils trap even if it wasn’t doing anything. But he had to. They didn’t have time to humor his erratic emotions. He stood and grabbed Neds hand. He was taken by surprise when Ned pulled him into a hug but he let himself melt into it for a moment. 

 

“First, we need to figure out who took Shane. Obviously the only two players are heaven and hell.” Eugene stated as he clasped a hand on Ryan’s shoulder, knowing the other demon didn’t want anymore time spent on him. Even if Eugene wanted to make sure his friend was okay, he knew Ryan wouldn’t really be okay until they succeeded in getting Shane back. 

 

“I think I can be of some assistance.” Azrael makes their presence know before stepping away from the far wall. They gave Ryan a small sad smile before speaking again. “I’m glad I was able to come and help instead of coming to do my job.” 

 

Ned and Eugene both stepped in front of Ryan, stance steady as they take in the stranger who just appeared in Eugene’s warded apartment. 

 

Anael, however squinted and tilted his head as he faces Azrael as a dull throb starts behind his temples. 

 

“I know you. Have we met?” The angel asked as the strange headache grew. 

 

“A lifetime ago, yes. But that’s a story for another time.” Azrael smiled warmly at Anael before turning back to the others. “I told you you’d be seeing me again soon, Ryan Burgara.”

 

“Who are you and how the hell did you get in here?” Eugene growled as his eyes flicked to black and he took a step forward. 

 

“You’re referring to the wards? People have tried for eons, but you can’t ward off death.” Rae responds calmly as they put their hands in their pockets and tilt their head a little.

 

“You’re Azrael?” Ned asked as he tensed a bit more. 

 

“Yeah, I told you guys about them. I think we can trust-“ Ryan started before Eugene cut in. 

 

“Trust death?” Eugene asked curtly before Azrael laughed. 

 

“Death is the only thing you  _can_   trust. The one constant. I take pride in that.” Azrael responded in a light tone before holding their hands up in a show of compliance. “I’m here to get Ryan’s mate back. The angels had no right to do this and I no longer wish to stand by and watch as they have their tantrum about father leaving.” Azrael’s voice went cold towards the end and Eugene and Ned straightened up. 

 

“The angels have Shane? More importantly, how can  _you_   help us?” Ned questioned, guard still up but willing to trust Ryan’s judgment. 

 

“They do. No demon could have broken those wards, and hell is in a state of chaos so they aren’t the best team players at the moment. Angels, however, can easily manipulate humans into believing they’re doing Devine work. Grant them abilities. Just long enough to get what they want done.” Azrael sounded disgusted at the thought but caught Ryan’s gaze and sighed.

 

“So he’s in heaven? What are we suppose to do? Burst through the gates of the Silver City and yell ‘ _hey I think we misplaced a demon around here’_?” Eugene questioned as he crossed his arms. Azrael looked down before crossing their own arms.

 

“What? What aren’t you telling us?” Ryan asked hastily while he moved in front of the others. 

 

“How’s the bond?” Azrael asked instead of answering.

 

“It’s- it’s barely there. Why?” Ryan answered and Azrael looked at him and looked remorseful.

 

“Then we don’t have much time. Demon bonds can’t break through the gates of heaven. But since you still feel even a little bit of it, that means he’s still here on Earth. There for, they’re keeping him very near death.” Azrael explained with remorse and urgency. 

 

“We have-“ Ryan started as he stepped forward but searing pain tore through his side. He yelled in pain before falling into his knees, he felt as though an invisible knife was twisting in and out of his side before his arms started burning like when he touched the salt. 

 

“Ryan?!” Eugene yelled as he, Ned, and Anael were at his side instantly. 

 

“They’re hurting him.” Ryan stated as looked at his arms to see they were clear save for the bandage. He moved to lift up his shirt to see blood pooling beneath it over a large gash. 

 

“We have to find him. Now. Or we may lose both our demons.” Eugene said and looked to Azrael for help. 

 

“If he’s near death, I can find him.” Azrael says in a rush, not accustomed to trying to help the living.

 

Ryan clenched his teeth and stood, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply before rolling his shoulders. The fire was back beneath his ribs but not the chaotic blaze that tore through him before. He felt Ned’s hand on his shoulder and slowly opened his eyes as the pain ebbed away. He knew his eyes must be red again when Ned took a step back. 

 

“Ry...” Eugene started as Ned stepped back. Ryan waved his hand and looked to the other demon. 

 

“I’m in control, for now. I won’t hurt you. But these angels are gonna wish I _just_ turned them to dust.” Ryan replied as the others shared a look and nodded. 

 

“I see what Shane means when he jokes about you being a serial killer.” Eugene stated and Ryan rolled his eyes, earning a smirk from the black haired demon. 

 

“What are we still doing here? We got work to do.” Ryan grinned wickedly in return and turned on his heel to head for the door. 

 

Ned and Eugene pulled up close behind and he sensed Anael and Pesto just behind them. After a moment Azrael appeared in front of him and began to lead the way. 

 

Heaven wouldn’t know what hit them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title inspired by Bury a Friend by Billie Eilish

**Author's Note:**

> Soft chapter to start off with our boys!


End file.
